(IMPORTANT! Before reading, Please read and agree fully to the terms and conditions listed in the unincluded EULA.)
IN THE UNITED STATES OF MIND, JULY 4, (July 3rd release date, not to be recognized as an official doctrine of humanity until the 4th.) 2012 (Just count backwards 236 years; you'll figgur it out)
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen disunited States of Irony
When in the Course of certain events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the emotional bands which have connected them with Apple products and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of Kreij requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all computer components are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Manufacturer with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are User Enjoyment, OC ability and the pursuit of Adequate Cooling. — As well as compatibility with games and programs and freedom to upgrade hardware without having to buy overpriced 'apple' badged crap that's three generations old. — That to secure these rights, Manufacturers are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Buyers, — That whenever any Company becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Management, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Usefulness and Worthfulness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Companies long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that Geeks are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Companies, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these TPU Addicts; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to Remove the controlling company Apple, overdue for absolute abolishment.
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Okay, that was my attempt. Kindof turned into a huge apple hate fest; it stems from from truth, I have a friend who just paid $1100 for a macpro with DDR memory and an ati 2600. The sole purpose was to get windows Parallel working. Makes me want to cry, then hate on apple. I even offered to build him a PC for 2/3 the money and not charge anything for it; I think he did it just to spite me. Expensive spite...
Long Live freedom from apple Porducts, Long Live Freedom from silly brits, Long Live PC's, Long Live TPU, and Long Live our Addiction to computers and this site!
Edit:@jasper1605: yours was good.