Games Seem to Be Loading Slow

[Kreij]

I noticed recently that many people are concerned with some of their games loading slowly.
While there may be many reasons for this, it seems to me that it may be that the loading and transfer times from their HDDs might be a potential bottle neck.
It is impossible to overclock a HDD so what's left?

The answer is to participate in this stealth contest.

Prize : An OCZ 256GB Vertex 4 SATA III MLC Internal SSD

Rules :
- Must be a member of TPU since April 2012. Everyone welcome including staff.
- Must be willing to PM me your real name and address in order to receive the prize.
- Must be in an area where you can legally participate in contests, and I can legally send you this prize.
- The contest will be closed and a winner decided upon at my discretion. This could be one week or one month so don't procrastinate too long.
- One entry per member, but you can change your entry anytime prior to the contest closing. Mark your entry as your offical one.
- Feel free to comment on other entries ... IN GOOD FUN ... but keep it civil and within the TPU posting rules.

The Fun :
- You are a marketing specialist and your boss just gave you the following item to promote ...



Using humor, lies, exaggerations, whatever ... make me want to buy this useless item

Disclaimer/legal bullshit :
- This is a personal contest and by participating in it, you will not hold TPU or myself (Kreij) liable for anything that may go wrong, in any way, in any place, for whatever reason.
- My decision is final. If you do not agree with the outcome of the contest call someone who cares.

[Kreij]

Read the part called "The Fun". It's what you need to do to win.

Why I give away stuff is my perogative.
The long time members know why, but I will tell you all again if you all want a sad story.

[eidairaman1]

Originally Posted by Phusius

Why are giving away such a pricey item when your CPU could use a nice upgrade to Ivy Bridge?

Because the Slowest Component in a Computer is a HDD, You can have an Athlon XP machine be snappier than a Core 2 with an SSD actually

[Phusius]

Please take me out of the running, I went on ahead and nabbed a 180GB Corsair Force Series GS CSSD-F180GBGS-BK 2.5" 180GB SATA III Internal Solid State Drive (SSD). 159.99 free ship no tax. /shrug

[LGV]

not official anymore " Chair for PC game enthusiast-s , this chair make you believe the game load lightning fast, while you seek for your own comfort! You got fast CPU, GPU , stylish Case , why not treat yourself the best gaming chair? Plus WE know how lazy you are about clean your room and stuff, make no mistake here: this chair have the possible smallest space to catch dust and any spilled coffee run off strait away ! "

[STCNE]

As for my official entry,



There is a reason the picture is resized, look carefully and you might be able to see it.

[helloWorld]

That is too funny. I haven't had a good, genuine lol moment in awhile

[TacoTown]

Originally Posted by Kreij

I noticed recently that many people are concerned with some of their games loading slowly.
While there may be many reasons for this, it seems to me that it may be that the loading and transfer times from their HDDs might be a potential bottle neck.
It is impossible to overclock a HDD so what's left?

The answer is to participate in this stealth contest.

Prize : An OCZ 256GB Vertex 4 SATA III MLC Internal SSD

Rules :
- Must be a member of TPU since April 2012. Everyone welcome including staff.
- Must be willing to PM me your real name and address in order to receive the prize.
- Must be in an area where you can legally participate in contests, and I can legally send you this prize.
- The contest will be closed and a winner decided upon at my discretion. This could be one week or one month so don't procrastinate too long.
- One entry per member, but you can change your entry anytime prior to the contest closing. Mark your entry as your offical one.
- Feel free to comment on other entries ... IN GOOD FUN ... but keep it civil and withing the TPU posting rules.

The Fun :
- You are a marketing specialist and your boss just gave you the following item to promote ...

http://img.techpowerup.org/120811/useless.jpg

Using humor, lies, exaggerations, whatever ... make me want to buy this useless item

Disclaimer/legal bullshit :
- This is a personal contest and by participating in it, you will not hold TPU or myself (Kreij) liable for anything that may go wrong, in any way, in any place, for whatever reason.
- My decision is final. If you do not agree with the outcome of the contest call someone who cares.

Hate the look and feel of normal toilets? Hate having your poop flushed away to never be seen again? Well I have the product for you! It's called the "Plastic chair With The Bottom Missing"! It uses the latest in plastic chair technology to let you choose how to dispose of your waste without the hassle of squatting in the forest! If you call now we'll even include a second one so you can share alone time, with your loved one. Call now!

[D007]

Oh lol this is too funny to pass up and God I want a SSD lol..

Official entry:

The new Ergo-dynamic lumbar king:
Features supports for all major muscle groups, in a manner which combined with the vigorous workout routine, necessary to maintain an upright sitting position. Promotes excellent posture and top tier exercise, for the person who likes to feel like they are on the go, but has nowhere to go..
The new Ergo-Dyna XJ2..
Available in all major stores across the US, Europe and Canada..

Act now and we'll throw in the new Super king deluxe coffee table, featuring no actual table what so ever..
Holding your cup over empty space, never felt so good..


PS: It worked for Sketchers when they lied to people about how their "Shape ups" shoes were designed to actually get you in shape..lol.. They got sued for that btw.. Also if you own a pair, they owe u money.. ^^

[hellrazor]

Here's my one and only official entry:

This is the perfect chair to give to those pesky idiots that don't bring their own PC to a LAN party; give a useless chair to a useless person!

Hey, do we get the chair too?

[WhiteLotus]

Official entry:

THIS JUST IN!

EA have announced that they will be venturing out into the physical world of distribution. So far only pieces of information is being released but at the moment it looks like desks, and chairs, will be on offer. One can expect the prices to be set at a value higher than most other chairs because of the quality of such items. Oh hang on, yup we have the first picture here:


WOW LOOK AT THAT CHAIR. THAT IS ONE AWESOME CHAIR. Just look at the curves, the stylish features that it has. FOUR, count them, FOUR metal legs.

Rumours are that those that have had the honour of sitting in that chair, say it's definitely going to need a release day patch, and also mentions of release day "Physically Buyable Content" (PBC) for the chair... two in fact. One called "Bottom" and the other called "Back". Yup these PBCs will set you back another $60 a piece.


Wow


What a story.

[NdMk2o1o]

Official entry.

Valve have announced the "Official apperture science Portal chair for gamers" now you too can feel whats it's to travel through a portal in the comfort of your own home.

*disclaimer Valve will not be liable for any harm/injury or death caused by the "Official apperture science Portal chair for gamers"
**The cake is a lie

[hat]

Official Entry:

Apple, the top Technology Innovator of the World, today announced the launch of the Apple iChair. The iChair is a perfect solution for environmentally conscious users; featuring 50% less plastic than the leading plastic chair, all while requiring no additional power source. Apple's sleek, innovative design removes excessive plastic from the bottom and the back of the chairs, which would otherwise be wasted, unused in your typical plastic chair.

The iChair is expected to retail for $79.99, and for an additional $10, customers will receive an additional 1 year warranty with full tech support. Apple also offers a free recycling program, in which users can send their old iChair (or any other Apple product) and Apple will recycle it responsibly, giving the sender an Apple gift card if their device still holds monetary value.

[TacoTown]

Originally Posted by hat

Official Entry:

Apple, the top Technology Innovator of the World, today announced the launch of the Apple iChair. The iChair is a perfect solution for environmentally conscious users; featuring 50% less plastic than the leading plastic chair, all while requiring no additional power source. Apple's sleek, innovative design removes excessive plastic from the bottom and the back of the chairs, which would otherwise be wasted, unused in your typical plastic chair.

The iChair is expected to retail for $79.99, and for an additional $10, customers will receive an additional 1 year warranty with full tech support. Apple also offers a free recycling program, in which users can send their old iChair (or any other Apple product) and Apple will recycle it responsibly, giving the sender an Apple gift card if their device still holds monetary value.

http://i.imgur.com/QceJQ.jpg

You owe me a new coffee and keyboard.

[JrRacinFan]

Official entry(OP does not state must use a marketing pitch):
**Plays "HTC" role**
@Hat

Dear Apple & CEO,
In rebuttal to your current advertisement of the iChair, we are going to have to take legal courses of action against you with violation of ~9,000 patents that we have on Chair X. Respectfully, pull all sales in USA and there will not be litigation against you.

Thank you

PS: I want moar games

[Kreij]

Don't forget to include somewhere in your post that it is your official entry.
It's one of the contest requirements.

[Depth]

Originally Posted by NdMk2o1o

Official entry.

Valve have announced the "Official apperture science Portal chair for gamers" now you too can feel whats it's to travel through a portal in the comfort of your own home.

*disclaimer Valve will not be liable for any harm/injury or death caused by the "Official apperture science Portal chair for gamers"
**The cake is a lie

http://www.techpowerup.com/forums/at...1&d=1344769801

So you can... sit on your neck?

[RejZoR]

Official entry (clearly)...

AirChair Elite



LazyBottoms Inc, a world leading manufacturer of high performance, high comfort chairs today launched the AirChair Elite, a worlds first fully breathable, fully modular chair designed for hardcore gamers.

AirChair features high tech titanium stands, carbon fibre shell covered with soft plush in trendy colors of white and black. Pink version is also scheduled for release in late Q4 2012, a limited edition version called AirChair Pink Elite (only 500 examples are planned, so be ready to camp in front of authorized dealerships for days!). Pricing for AirChair Pink Elite not yet available.

What makes AirChair special is that it is absolutely useless without mandatory dual high performance hydro magnetic bearing Alpha&Omega 15.000 RPM USB controlled* and Force Feedback adaptable fan blades, wall socket powered PWM fans ready for easy integration into the chair using 50 torx screws. Say goodbye to sweaty backs and bottoms! No matter how tough situation you have in the game, AirChair will always keep you cool and ready for action.

Base AirChair Elite will be priced at 999,90 EUR and mandatory dual fans for 99,90 EUR.
Optional fully interchangeable Alpha&Omega 35.000 RPM dual fans are also available for only 199,90 EUR (pair).

For those who want to truly stand out on LAN party events, special attachable USB powered LED lights are also available in red, green, blue and white color.
Priced at 49,90 EUR each.

Modularity has never been this ridiculously easy!

* Drivers are included on two BluRay discs, 100GB of free disk space required for installation. SSD drives, like OCZ Vertex 4 are highly recommended for faster driver software initialization.

[cadaveca]

My official entry:




New from EOYS Gaming, the E-Chair!

Are current gaming titles leaving you feeling unsatisfied? Do they lack the entertainment you've been looking for? Feel that your $60 was mis-spent? Fret no more, as the Edge Chair(also called E-Chair) takes you by the seat of your pants!

Our engineers have spent thousands upon thousands of hours painstakingly testing gamers and thier needs, and have come up with the world's most innovating gaming accessory ever. The E-Chair ensures you're on the edge of your seat every single second! No more tingly buttocks, No more sleeping extremeties!

We taking all the important parts of your standard gaming chair, and pushed it to 9000, removing all of the un-needed parts, and left nothing but the edge of the seat, so you're ALWAYS on edge!

And don't forget folks, we've also introduced the first accessory for the E-Chair, the P-Pot, and carefully crafted aerodynamic stainless steel add-on, that ensures you never need to leave your game again!



Get yours now, for only 6 payments on $19.99!!


But wait, there's more! Call today, and we'll give you not one, but THREE E-Chairs, so your friends can be on the edge of thier seat too!

Act fast, as this offer won't last!

Some assembly required.

[D007]

I didn't know you were allowed to modify the chair.. That's not selling the "existing" product if you modify it. That's creating an entirely new product.. I could put a jet pack on the chair and come up with a new slogan..lol. Seems to defeat the purpose of trying to sell a chair that is obviously useless if you add stuff to it and make it useful.. XD

[RejZoR]

No, mine wasn't modified. But you have to buy mandatory fans for it

[Crap Daddy]

This is official


Well my man, here’s a sensational item, limited edition stuff. We call it SSC.
It might look like a chair but, lemme tell you, it’s much more than that. You see, we don’t call it SSC just because we can. No sir. This stands for Solid State Chair and it’s fast. It’s very fast.

What do you mean you need a chair to sit on? You see, we developed a totally new concept. This chair is not for sitting. You wanna sit on a chair? Not on this one. This is far superior to any chair you can buy anywhere. This is our exclusive top-of-the-line ultra fast chair.

You’re asking me what do I mean by “fast”? You have come to the right man, I’m here to answer all your questions. Now, let me tell you how this works.

You grab the chair and go for a walk. I know you live in a rough neighborhood. There’s always somebody at the corner asking for cigarettes and ready to kick your ass, steal you wallet, whatever. This is where the “solid” part from the SSC comes into play. You can swing, smash, use the SSD as a weapon. We have one week intensive training for this, free of charge.

But the best part comes if everything fails, you can’t fight or you’re overpowered by the villains. Then the “fast” part kicks in. All you have to do is throw the chair and you’ll run very fast, faster than you would imagine. Subscription will grant you one replacement SSD a month if by some accident you can’t retrieve the item the next day.

Don’t ask me how much it will cost. It’s nothing when your life is at stake.

[Darkleoco]

Official Entry:

Have you ever felt like your computer is loading too slow for your liking? Well we have the answer! Introducing the brand new Gaming Chair Elite! Designed for optimal airflow around your sweatiest areas and with a special backless design that ensure if you are falling asleep and need that quick adrenaline rush all you need to do is lean back and hold on for dear life! Coming to a location near you Q2 2012! Expected retail price $79.99. Manufacturer not responsible for bodily injury due to this product.

[de.das.dude]

official entry


Pinapple introduces the Z-Chair v1



Advantages:-
made of specially engineered biodegradable plastic.
does not harm plants in the process of making.
good as a stool chair for old immobilized people.
you can sit and take a shit on this chair.
butt cheeks dont get sweaty, lots of aeration.
back doesnt get sweaty.
allows more freedom for your scrotum.
also acts as a measurement of obesity. if you fall through chair you are underweight, if stair breaks you are obese.


warning:- small risk of falling through for underage or underweight people. pineapple is not liable for any damage thus caused.

[hat]

Why is this buried on page 2? I think I'll fix that...