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am i immorral ?

Discussion in 'General Nonsense' started by mullered07, May 24, 2008.

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  1. mullered07

    mullered07 New Member

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    my wife had an affair last year with some guy and when i found out i was devestated, however we do love each other and soon after i wanted to get back with her, and said from now on things will be different etc (as if youve been there b4 you will know that these things are usually 2 sided) so we never have to go to anyone when we feeling low etc again and will talk more and forsake all others (aint that what we was meant to be doing anyway ffs ? )

    Anyway that was some months ago but ive met this gurl and tbh i dont fancy her, although she does have a nice body, i wouldnt think of getting into a relationship with her. well one thing led to another thanks to msn messenger and i ended up going over there and having sex with her. now a week later on and i cant stop going over there and having sex with her, i still love my wife but when ive had a drink, shes always there and i give in to temptation.

    am i a hypocrate or am i just trying to get my revenge subconciensley?? i cant tell but still keep going back even tho i wake up in the morning regretting it.

    now im scared if i end it she will tell someone and it will get back to my wife, lol IRONIC aint it, this is exactly what my wife must of have been thinking when she was playing away lol (unless she was a heartless bitch and just enjoyed it outright lol)

    shit whats happened to my marriage, i dont want my son to pick these things up from either of us, i want him to have a good life and respect women but also respect himself
    philbrown23 says thanks.
  2. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    Let me ask you one question.
    Do either of you trust the other anymore to maintain marital fidelity ?
    Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Without it, what do you have left?
  3. tkpenalty New Member

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    Alcohol = :shadedshu Why drink it?
  4. Nemesis881 New Member

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    It's idiots like you that are ruining this world. :shadedshu
  5. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    Don't blame the alcohol for the actions. I can be stupid drunk and would never compromise my marriage vows.

    Nice, Nemesis. Casting the first stone are we?
  6. mullered07

    mullered07 New Member

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    hey fuck u asshole with comments like that imo its knobheads like you that ruin this world. i dont rob people, mug people, do anything illegal, if anything im going thru a shit time and need some help and guidance and assholes like you who are to absorbed in their own shit to put themself into someone else' shoes and actually go out on a limb to do anything to help others. am i a suicide bomber? no, do i kidnap children and do nasty things??? no, i get married, have a family and try to have a "normal" life but get flamebaited of idiots who have no clue of what im going thru and what my life is about.

    maybe when you grow up and experience the real world you'll see its not idiots like me who ruin but rather idiots like you who presume and think your above everyone else, so dont care about the shit that comes out of your mouth and how it affects people.

    ok maybe i shouldnt have started this thread, heck i thought id get a few home truths of people who had been thru similar and have come out of the other end smiling, obv not.

    when i ask "am i immoral" its a retorical(sp?) question ie: i think i am regardless, im looking for someone to reassure me/ give me some hope and just be a friend and help me out. if thats too much to ask for then sorry, i will gladly have mods delete this thread.
  7. mullered07

    mullered07 New Member

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    absolutely, i never blamed the alcohol although did say it was a factor, its why i said im not sure if im doing this as some kind of revenge thing or not, tbh i think i am and find some kind of deepseeded pleasure in knowing im doing what my wife had done to me.

    we have been thru a crap time and have both struggled with alcohol in the past, our firstborn son was born with a rare life-threatining heart condiditon and again this adds further stress to our relationship, he still awaits heart surgery. im just fed up of the tit-4-tat thing that goes on and thought i would share whats happening
  8. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    Don't bail on this thread yet if you want some feedback, Mul.
    Not all of us are as perfect as Nemesis. /sarc
    mullered07 says thanks.
  9. Dr. Spankenstein New Member

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    You are very brave and open to present this before us. Thank you for sharing your humanity with us.

    You should put a stop to what you are doing right now. Seriously. I'm quite sure you are justifying your actions based on how you were treated recently. It's an easy thing to do.

    But if you are AT ALL serious about rehabilitating your relationship with your wife, you have to give it a fair chance. Have you two sat down and unanimously come to the conclusion that your relationship is worth fighting for? If so, the first step is forgiving and asking for forgiveness...

    Work from there. My heart goes out to both of you.
    mullered07 says thanks.
  10. mullered07

    mullered07 New Member

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    hey thanks man, i know in my heart its worth fighting for cause no woman makes me feel like she does, i think i need to address some other issues i have, if i feel the need to do this kind of thing and cant be a man about my feelings.

    damn straight i think im still smarting over what happened last year and want her to know how i felt, though i cant see that happening this way. just feels like im on the path to self destruction not revenge or equality. i do need to kick this other woman to the curb and will do right now, i just needed pointing in the right direction as i knew what to do, guess i just needed reassurance ?
  11. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    You must look into your heart of hearts and honestly decide who you want to be with.
    You must also look into your heart and grant forgiveness, for if you cannot forgive, why should anyone forgive you.
    You must be honest with yourself. Sex is a momentary pleasure, Love is a lifelong treasure.
    Choose, and choose wisely.
  12. Nemesis881 New Member

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    Mhmm..well from what i hear your life is perfectly normal except for the fact that your cheating on your wife... then you ask if your immoral....good one :rolleyes:
  13. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    He asked for help, not condemnation.
  14. Nemesis881 New Member

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    Well here's a tip. Open your eyes and realize what your doing. Ruining your normal life.
  15. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    (sigh) ... No offense Nem, but if you read his post his life was not all roses before.
    If you have never been in a situation of marital infidelity, then you have no experience to base any of you response on.
  16. blkhogan

    blkhogan New Member

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    If I told u.. I'd have to kill u
    I feel for you Mull, I have been in your situation. I dont think you are an imoral person, but what you are doing is. I ended up doing what you are currently doing. I thought it would make things better for me to get revenge, even the score. I didnt make things any better for me, it actualy make things much worse. On top of hiding the situation from her I was over come with horible guilt. The guilt from what I had done really played hell on my emotions and the way I approched the relationship.
    You need to break it off NOW! Pick yourself up off the ground dust yourself off and focus on what you want (your wife). I know its hard to forgive what has been done to you, but the healing must start sometime. Maybe take a few days off on your own (road trip, camping) and think things through. Decide what is important and what you want to achive in your relationship with your wife. Then have a sit down with her and get her input (very important) and go from there. It will take time to build that trust again, but if it is meant to be you two will get though it.

    We are here for you. You will get though this :toast:
    Kreij says thanks.
  17. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    Here is a saying that speaks volumes to anyone who understands it ....

    "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence ... until you have to mow that grass."
  18. Dr. Spankenstein New Member

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    It was summed up in the current vernacular perfectly in the Crazy Picture thread:

    It was a picture of a beautiful, bikini-clad model and the caption was-"Believe it or not, there is a guy who is tired of putting up with her sh!t!"

    I wish I could find it...
  19. Corrosion

    Corrosion New Member

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    Prick...

    Anyway i say what goes around comes around. why dont yo and your wife be swingers?
  20. Nemesis881 New Member

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    Ok you're an idiot too. This generation is completely rewriting the definition of marriage. Divorce, cheating, or swinging was never the original plan for relationships. Some of you say i'm a dick but i'm just speaking the truth. Love is meant to be something special, not something taken for granted.
  21. Thermopylae_480

    Thermopylae_480 New Member

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    Seek professional counseling. Internet teenagers, and cynical spiteful zealots aren't the people you want to talk with if you really want to save your marriage. There are many resources and support groups available for people experiencing your problems.

    Nemesis, you need to learn to be more respectful and polite when expressing your views. Hate mongering is not the solution to your cynicism, and it certainly does not help others. Contribute to the solution, not the problem.
    Last edited: May 24, 2008

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