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And then the fight started......

Discussion in 'General Nonsense' started by Bow, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Bow

    Bow

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    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

    She asked, 'What's on TV?'

    I said, 'Dust.'

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
    seconds.'

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
    expensive...so, I took her to a gas station.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
    first.

    "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

    "Nah, she can order for herself."

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- ---

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

    She is not happy with what she sees and says to h er husband, 'I feel
    horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
    compliment.'

    The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

    And then the fight started.....

    ------------ --------- --------- ------

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

    I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

    And then the fight started....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

    My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.

    I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

    And then the fight started......

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

    And that's when the fight started....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
    bed.

    I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

    "No," she answered.

    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

    And that's when the fight started....
     
    Crunching for Team TPU
  2. jpierce55

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    :eek::nutkick::roll:
     
    Bow says thanks.
  3. stefanels

    stefanels

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    +1 I had a realy good laught... Thanks
     
    Bow says thanks.
  4. hat

    hat Maximum Overclocker

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    marriage seems so lucrative to me at this age. it seems that the mrs. is always up your ass about stupid stuff that you really don't give a shit about (dusty tv for example)
     
    Bow says thanks.
    Crunching for Team TPU 5 Million points folded for TPU
  5. Reventon

    Reventon New Member

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    Haha, that was great :laugh:. I thought it was a serious thread when I clicked, but hell that was good. Thanks for the laugh haha.
     
    Bow says thanks.
  6. Castiel

    Castiel

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    Wow, that was awesome. Nice post.
     
    Bow says thanks.
  7. _jM

    _jM New Member

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    :rockout::roll::laugh::nutkick::toast: wow that made me cry I laughed so hard... actually gave me a few ideas... "and then the fight started.."
     
    Bow says thanks.
  8. CrAsHnBuRnXp

    CrAsHnBuRnXp

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    :roll: I love these things. Always good for a laugh. Here's a few more:


    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
    Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is Proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'
    And then the fight started...


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
    Kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
    Drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
    Hasn't been sober since.'
    'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on
    Celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...

    A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
    Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

    The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
    So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
    A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
    screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
    The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
    And then the fight started.....


    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
    Grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
    I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
    The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
    My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband Is out fishing in that?'
    And then the fight started ...
     
    FordGT90Concept and Bow say thanks.
  9. vladmire New Member

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    yeah! phone a friend. that would help a lot! hahaha
     
    Bow says thanks.
  10. Morrison5891

    Morrison5891 New Member

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    lol :laugh:

    thanks, I actually really needed a good laugh
     
  11. sttubs

    sttubs

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    One time I wrote the date in the dust on the entertainment center....and then the fight started.


    Guys, for future reference, that was a stupid idea to date the dust.
     
  12. HolyCow02

    HolyCow02 New Member

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    hahaha I was not expecting that at all... I was figuring you were in a bar fight or something. :toast:
     
  13. stuartb04

    stuartb04

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    now thats funny
    the missus read it too
    didnt laugh as much as me though
     
  14. fart_plume

    fart_plume Xtreme Refugee

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    My second Wife and I were Having words When she said" Well I'll cut the sex off!" I replied" First your gonna have to find out where I'm gettin' it first!" ............Then the fight started................(true story)
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2009
  15. KieranD

    KieranD

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    main post was legend, wasnt a real laugh out loud but was funny inside hard to explain

    okay it was good lets leave it at that lol

    took her to the kitchen was genius
     
  16. denice25 New Member

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    nice! thanks for the laugh!:nutkick::roll:
     
  17. RadeonX2

    RadeonX2 New Member

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    haha :laugh:
     
  18. Reventon

    Reventon New Member

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    Some kid on the bus was being a fag today, and then the fight started.....
     
  19. crtecha

    crtecha New Member

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    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
    Kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
    Drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
    Hasn't been sober since.'
    'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on
    Celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...


    Thems fighten words for sure.


    These are awesome thanks a lot for this post
     
  20. Reventon

    Reventon New Member

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    Yeah but mine were serious.
     
  21. u2konline

    u2konline

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    My marriage ended last year lol
    We still hang out tho, not as much tho only because i have a new GF NOW
    bUT we still are the best of friends. We both made a decision on this , only because " we didn't have too much in common ", but we was loving the kittens








    and dressing them up in human clothes
     
  22. crtecha

    crtecha New Member

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    How did you end up together not having much in common? If you don't mind me asking.
     
  23. hat

    hat Maximum Overclocker

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    [​IMG]
     
    Crunching for Team TPU 5 Million points folded for TPU
  24. KieranD

    KieranD

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    above post is lolz to the maxxx
     

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