I'm really sorry to hear this. <sad> Please accept my condolences. If you need to talk to someone privately, please feel free to talk in PM with me if you wish. Sometimes it's easier to talk with a stranger about these things. I lost a work friend about a year and a half ago to pancreatic cancer and that felt really crap for all of us, so I can relate, at least a little bit, to what you're feeling right now.