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Disable internal LAPTOP speaker (faked malfunction))

Discussion in 'General Software' started by RuskiSnajper, Nov 25, 2011.

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  1. RuskiSnajper

    RuskiSnajper

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    Hello

    The other guy in the campus likes to play same songs all over and over again for 2 weeks now, he's listening to some weird cell-phone-recorded-concert-video that has very low quality and the sound is melting my ears, also the external speaker is weak and begins to wobble or how to say it begins to distort under load and that another reason there, the laptop is ASUS K73S with i5 and Nvidia 540 gm 1GB


    So ... with my experties i want to fake a malfunction and to have an excuse that he ruined the speaker with "too much volume"

    The point is, his laptop is sitting idle when he's not in the room so it's half a day of time ...



    Just wanted to see some ideas ... just think up something and well ... i'll search for solutions myself too but i don't know where to start :p
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2011
  2. Frick

    Frick Fishfaced Nincompoop

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    Cut the cables. Or desolder the wires from the speakers.
  3. RuskiSnajper

    RuskiSnajper

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    I can't open up the laptop , no it's not external speaker sorry , internal.

    software solution ... probably ?
  4. laszlo

    laszlo

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    disable the use of hardware from device manager that's all
  5. qubit

    qubit Overclocked quantum bit

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    I'll go one further and say uninstall the bloody driver!

    This character sounds like a real ignorant douchebag.
  6. RuskiSnajper

    RuskiSnajper

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    Yeah ... but i need something to be a reason

    i need some fake error message or some driver crash bla bla (and some side effects) ... just some elaborate cluster of problems so it'll seem unfixable

    I was thinking to take collateral and "damage" something else too to make it seem a big problem but then i would (only if he asks :p) offer assistance (reluctantly) to try to fix his issue with some "advices" ... but then i would make it seem like it's a big problem , esentially i'll "fix" everything else except internal speaker and then he'll be using his headphones nice and quiet

    oh come on i have 5.1 sorround set and he think's i'll be using headphones while he drags this broken awful mono quality laptop speakers, i bet those headphones have better quality than the speaker imo. (RCA jack, not usb, so uses internal audio chip)

    EDIT:
    the good news is , this asus laptop is weird , i don't know what he was doing but he's drivers for motherboard functionality (such as speaker volume hotkey combination) were uninstalled for some werid reason.

    So it's not like it'll be the first problem with the laptop ... also the guy doesn't know he has to uninstall drivers before reinstall so there you have an outlook of his experience, but im not trying to be evil , i just really think same things are repetitive they become really annoying, and in the same time i don't want to ask him since he's so enthusiastic about it ... i'll be over sooner or later but i don't have time 2 years until he grows up :p ; i'll feel like breaking his fun which is what i don't really want to do cause he isn't a bad person at all. So deep down he'll be upset on the laptop, not me ...

    EDIT2: he knows the basics as he plays games too , he can reinstall the driver at some point and i know he won't lightly switch to headphones-only , he'll be trying to fix speaker definitely.
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2011
  7. qubit

    qubit Overclocked quantum bit

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    Sod it Ruski, just take the rubber mallet to it and be done with it. :p j/k
  8. Mussels

    Mussels Moderprator Staff Member

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    stab the speakers with a kebab skewer or something, just make sure its done on a day when you arent there/have an alibi.
    de.das.dude and qubit say thanks.
  9. qubit

    qubit Overclocked quantum bit

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    This is the most evil suggestion by far. I like it. :cool:
  10. Sinzia

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    Pour supergue into the speaker, make sure its pooling up... that'll "weld" the cone in place and make it immovable.
  11. LDNL

    LDNL

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    Why just the speakers? If you hate the guy so much go all the way and take a magnet to his HDD. Or better yet take it to the bath with you and pretend that its a submarine
  12. Mussels

    Mussels Moderprator Staff Member

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    maybe get one of those anti theft kensington lock things for laptops, and lock it somewhere amusing.
  13. N-Gen

    N-Gen

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    Lock it to a mug and imagine yourself an alchemist and create some potion made from different kinds of foods and beverages, he ain't touching that.
  14. arnoo1

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    Or just tell how you feel:p and maybe he will do something else, or stab the guy instead of the speakers haha
  15. FreedomEclipse

    FreedomEclipse ~Technological Technocrat~

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    ^Sigged - I totally love it,

    Or better...get a kensington lock and 'tamper' with it so that locks unlocking mechanism wont unlock then he's royally fucked as he needs to contact Kensington support for an 'unlock' key but he cant cuz he needs to quote the serial number thats printed on the normal keys...which he hasnt got as i guess youre going to either eat the key or flush it down the pooper.

    so the only real choice he has is to use a heavy duty bolt cutter to cut the cable. but even if he does that he will still have the lock part stuck in his laptop and he wont be able to get it out unless he totally rips it out like the motherfucking hulk and risk breaking his laptop. Even if the laptop survives the rip. I doubt his laptop would ever hold a decent resale value. and the structural integrity of the chasis would probably seriously compromised due to the amount of force placed on it when he rips the lock out.

    Id just say it would be an easier job to kill the guy and make it look like an accident. download some naked pics of one of the other room mates mother onto the laptop so it looks like he was caught red handed beating off to the dudes mom and he walks in and they break into a scuffle which the room mate accidently kills the dude thats beating off over his mother.

    and by the time the cops do find out it was you. you'll already be out of the country
  16. NdMk2o1o

    NdMk2o1o

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    +1 grow some balls and tell him to have some f**king respect or else :mad: :roll:
    arnoo1 and AthlonX2 say thanks.
  17. Velvet Wafer

    Velvet Wafer New Member

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    Disable the audio services permanently, disable any audio related entries in the device manager, and on top of that, start to block certain crucial tasks, which are very important for that person, by using Comodo Internet Security. (Firefox, Media Player... anything you can think of)
    You can even make it run in the background after booting, blocking things without ever noticing the user. With such big problems, he most probably wont wonder, why the sound isnt working too.
  18. AthlonX2

    AthlonX2 HyperVtX™

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    +1. kinda funny we have mods,and staff here telling someone its ok to destroy someone elses property. So by that it means since mussels sucks as a moderator and qubit is one sided with his news and i dont care for either of them i should go to there homes and disable there computers so i dont have to read what they have to say? sounds like flawed logic to me:eek:
  19. Mussels

    Mussels Moderprator Staff Member

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    its certainly not ok, and we dont condone such actions.


    then again, this IS the internet.
  20. AthlonX2

    AthlonX2 HyperVtX™

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    :banghead:
  21. Black Panther

    Black Panther Senior Moderator™ Staff Member

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    Or put the whole thing in the microwave... or throw it off a cliff...

    ____________________

    Here, have a pinch ;)

    [​IMG]
  22. Kreij

    Kreij Senior Monkey Moderator Staff Member

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    We're here to help people fix stuff, not wreck stuff. Let's move on.
    AthlonX2, 95Viper, qubit and 1 other person say thanks.

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