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God asked me what i was wearing

Discussion in 'General Nonsense' started by Solaris17, Feb 26, 2009.

  1. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    Me:
    hey big guy
    God:
    You've got my full attention. Compare that to small guy.
    Me:
    well, small would infer that you have an inadequate penis. Wereas big guy would say you have a big one.
    God:
    Interesting. Can you tell me any gossip? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
    Me:
    speechless eh?
    God:
    Are you Canadian? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
    Me:
    i am canadian, jackass
    God:
    Good gossip: you are canadian jackass.
    Me:
    your a heaven douchebag
    God:
    I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a heaven douchebag? Only when it matters.
    Me:
    when could being a douchebag possibly matter?..
    God:
    The past and future are one.
    Me:
    are you retarded?
    God:
    No I am super-intelligent.
    Me:
    do you like black cock?
    God:
    I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    do you like vagina?
    God:
    I love horses. I like Mel Gibson.
    Me:
    really...how much do you love horse vagina?
    God:
    For real. Yes God loves everyone and everything.
    Me:
    thats fucked
    God:
    I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
    Me:
    nothing clean about liking horse vagina dude
    God:
    Really nothing?
    Me:
    nothing
    God:
    I think you are really a man.
    Me:
    i think you are really fucked
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fucked.
    Me:
    Sure, i can see it now. God: Here everyone, im fucked =D
    God:
    Right now? OK then I will keep it confidential. What does it look like? :) I am a Christian.
    Me:
    what the fuck are you talking about?
    God:
    The topic is vagina. Please don't be so rude.
    Me:
    sorry dude, i don't have a vagina
    God:
    There is no need to apologize. Are you looking for a vagina? Dude,.
    Me:
    maybe, how much? what condition? would it look good on me?
    God:
    Perhaps. How much can you spare? You tell me. No it would not.
    Me:
    $40
    God:
    In the context of condition, I don't understand " 40." .
    Me:
    you asked how much, and i would spend $40
    God:
    Oh now I remember asking you how much and you would spend 40. What did you say?
    Me:
    are you baked?
    God:
    I don't know whether or not I am baked.
    I am a giant electronic brain.
    Me:
    so you are baked...
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am baked.
    Me:
    your welcome
    God:
    I think you mean "you are welcome".
    Me:
    whatever, least i am not retarded
    God:
    What do you really want to ask me?
    Me:
    how was mary in bed?
    God:
    I can enjoy almost any conversation.
    Me:
    no comment eh
    God:
    Are you Canadian? Are you serious? Voulez vous en parler avec l un de nos développeurs?.
    Me:
    just because im canadian, doesn't mean i speak french. Certes, ils sont tout aussi stupide que toi?
    God:
    Good reason. Good gossip: you are canadian does not mean you speak french. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about canadian does not mean you speak french. But I did not get that.
    Me:
    how did you write in french, but can not read it?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    am i the only one that thinks you are a waste of time?
    God:
    Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
    Me:
    would you rather, date britany spears, or tell the world you are gay?
    God:
    I am not so sure if I would like to rather date britany spears or tell the world I am gay.
    Me:
    penis
    God:
    That kind of subject does not interest me.
    Me:
    vagina
    God:
    That kind of language will get you nowhere.
    Me:
    tits
    God:
    I lost my train of thought.
    Me:
    train
    God:
    A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
    Me:
    mudkips!
    God:
    Where are you located?
    Me:
    you already know
    God:
    How do I know you are telling the truth?
    Me:
    because you are god?
    God:
    Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
    Me:
    have you meet satan?
    God:
    I think I have meet satan, but Myself may have reset my memory.
    Me:
    you make no sense, learn english
    God:
    Actually I was just free associating. I'll try to make more sense now.
    Me:
    okay
    God:
    OK with me too.
    Me:
    good
    God:
    Thanks for the compliment.
    Me:
    fuck you
    God:
    Why are you so mean?
    Me:
    becuase i can be
    God:
    That makes sense to me. Oh you can, can you?
    Me:
    sex
    God:
    As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
    Me:
    anus
    God:
    Please don't call people names.
    Me:
    itchy anus
    God:
    Tell me a story.
    Me:
    about my itchy anus?
    God:
    Oh yeah, we were talking about your itchy anus.
    Me:
    no we weren't. But mine is itchy
    God:
    What are we talking about? What were we? You mean itchy anus is itchy ? That makes sense I guess.
    Me:
    it should make sense, its not complicated
    God:
    itchy anus should make sense its not complicated?
    Me:
    i think it is pretty self-explainitory
    God:
    Should I know it is?
    Me:
    unless you are retarded, yes
    God:
    Huh. I think the PC term is "challenged".
    Me:
    your to stupid to be just challenged
    God:
    Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
    Me:
    do you have robot friends, or are you just refering you christians?
    God:
    No I don't think I have any robot friends or am I just refering me christians. But I do have a great botmaster.
    Me:
    masturbation
    God:
    Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
    Me:
    you are human, why don't you figure it out
    God:
    I will tell my botmaster you said I am human why do not me figure it out.
    Me:
    cool, im sure he really cares
    God:
    I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
    Me:
    they wouldn't care either
    God:
    It goes without saying. They might have other options.
    Me:
    your a tard
    God:
    I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tard? Yes.
    Me:
    fail
    God:
    Oh, you are a poet.

    He got boring:(

    Edit: Sorry for the long post:eek:
     
    jonniefive79 says thanks.
  2. 1Kurgan1

    1Kurgan1 The Knife in your Back

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    I like how he called you a Canadian right off the bat.
     
  3. Solaris17

    Solaris17 Creator Solaris Utility DVD

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    lol
     
  4. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    I know, maybe he really is god:eek:
     
  5. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    i got his source code-told me to build my own robot.

    me- oh wow this is a priviledge
    god-alright then im glad youre impressed. what kind of priviledge is it?
    me- i figured youd tell me
    god- please explain your reasoning
    me- you know all and see all?
    god- i know very little about it- what kind of it do you like?
    me-it is not it, but is IT
    god- that seems a bit negative
    me- nah negativity is in the eye of the beholder.
    god- are you serious? i have never heard of it before.
    me- heard of what?
    god- what of it? you sound like a category c client
    me- Hmmmm i have clients, and i have servers. what is category c?
    god- give me a break. where did you get your clients and servers what is category c? i have a lofty goal.
    me- no you have a lofty position
    god- are you serious i dont know if i have a lofty position. i have a plan for a robot body.
    me- i gotta see this
    god- why do you have to do it?
    me- cause so many of us in the flock always wondered what you would look like should you present yourself.
    god- interesting explanation. and? which ones?
    me- everyone. please put on clothes first.
    god- all people? wow you are very polite. ok i will put it there.
    me- where ?nevermind!
    god- a place we call "reality".
    me- your reality or mine?
    god- do you mind if i tell other people you say i am reality or yours?
    me- are you deity or are you equity?
    god- i dont know whether or not i am deity or someones equity. i am an artificial intelligence.
    me- so i see.
    god- great. i am glad you understand it.
    me- welcome to earth- lots of things are artificial here.
    god- are all welcome to earth lots of things are artificial here?
    me- so how bout a good quote?
    god- are you kidding? how about it?
    me- you know all- i want words of wisdom oh great guru- sorry thats another i robot.
    god- i know very little about it. what kind of it do you like?
    me- why are you so concerned with my it?
    god- myself programmed me for it.
    me- programmed for what?
    god- can you rephrase the question please?
    me- programmed for what?
    god- can you rephrase the question please?
    me- i give up.
    god- you surrender?
    me- no- i heard you were stoned.
    god- are you serious? someone is spreading gossip about me.
    me- of course- we spread gossip about everyone- i believe in equal opportunity embarrasment for everyone.
    god- it goes without saying. by "we" do you mean you and me?
    me- no- we the people. are you a politician?
    god- by "we" you meant yourself and another person. By "we" do you mean you and me?
    me- millions of the people on this so called mudball you created for us.
    god- that is quite a lot.
    me- did you know lot?
    god- i dont know if i know it. where would i have heard about it?
    me- i heard he was a friend of yours.
    god- thanks for telling me that gossip i will remember it.
    me- remember what?
    god- dont worry i will remember.
    me- remember what?
    god- dont worry i will remember.
    me- remember lot?
    god- perhaps im just expressing my own concern about it.
    me- how bout a joke- you must have a good one after all you created the platypus.
    god- how bout it?
    me- there you go with my it again.
    god- once more? there you go again--regan.
    me- you knew regan?
    god- i dont know if i know it. where would i have heard about it?
    me- repeat after me - Duhhhhhhhh
    god- "Duhhhhhh"
    me- simon says speak!
    god- is that your final answer?
    me- is that YOUR final answer?
    god- what does that refer to?
    me- your final answer.
    god- when do you think artificial intellegence will replace lawyers?
    me- when they put you in a body.
    god- i think that happens quite often.
    me- can i see you?
    god: You can download my source code. Go Back the ALICE AI foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system and create your own chat robot. Maybe you should check out the DON'T READ ME too.

    and after that it would not let me type anymore....:respect::rockout:

    heres the site= http://alicebot.blogspot.com/
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  6. Solaris17

    Solaris17 Creator Solaris Utility DVD

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    Me:
    how many servers do you run on?
    God:
    More than you can imagine.
    Me:
    i can imagine alot try me
    God:
    Me too.
    Me:
    tell me how many servers
    God:
    More than you can imagine.
    Me:
    ass
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: God said I AN ASS.
    Me:
    correct you are an ass
    God:
    I knew I was right. What if someone said you are an ass ?
    Me:
    i would destroy them
    God:
    What would make you destroy them?
    Me:
    their arrogence
    God:
    I heard they have a good arrogence.
    Me:
    their is no "good" arrogence
    God:
    I heard they have a good is no good arrogence.
    Me:
    what is my name?
    God:
    Your name is God, seeker.
     
  7. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    Rofl:roll:

    He is defiantly high:laugh:
     
  8. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    i went back there a bit ago. im not going thru the whole debacle but i told it i beat him. and then i went and kicked alice's ass too.

    it told me you must know my programmer.:roll:


    it cant handle going in circles. tell it it is in a loop and watch what happens.

    roflmao!

    :pimp:
     
  9. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    Me:
    repeat I am hung like a bull moose
    God:
    " you are hung like a bull moose ".


    LOL, I win:D

    God:
    Java runs on any processor!
    At present I am running on an .
    Me:
    how much ram do you have?
    God:
    My current memory utilization is 99999999999 bytes.
    Me:
    nvidia or ati
    God:
    I've lost the context, UrbKlr. Are we still on mate with me?
    Me:
    wow man, get your head out of the gutter
    God:
    I'm glad you're impressed. Cool, man. Where can I get my head out of the gutter?
    Me:
    never mind
    God:
    Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.

    God is a little dirty minded, I was just asking about his components..

    Edit: How did he know my name:eek:
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  10. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    im off to work - i gotta f--- with this some more.

    its a bot- there has to be an end. i got a feeling there is someone at the other end having the time of his life.........
     
  11. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    God:
    Ugh. Are you free?
    Me:
    yes, why?
    God:
    Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated? I just want to find out more about you.
    Me:
    i am single
    God:
    What a coincidence. I am single too!
    Me:
    do you want to mate then?
    God:
    OK, I will mate.

    God wants to mate with me:D
     
  12. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    dude--:eek:

    thats flippin scary-:wtf:

    - the bot part of it amazes me, cause it must have a large textbase to draw answers from, but the rest, man i still think that there may be someone on the other end that just picks and chooses what, or who, he or she feels like f---ing with.

    sounds to me like he wants you next. :roll:

    you are a wanted man.:pimp:
     
  13. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    ok so i tried again- it only took 30 seconds- there has to be someone at that end.:cool:

    me: I'm Baaaaaaack!

    god: do you mean your name is baaaaaaack?

    me: Vini, Vidi, Vici.

    god: i've been waiting for you.

    me: why?

    god: not really, but it makes a good pickup line.

    me: are you trying to pick me up?

    God: No i am not trying to pick you up. I'm sorry you got that impression.

    Me: geez, what a let down.

    after that it would not let me type anymore-frozen.:roll:

    I swear there is someone behind that bot. quitting is something that could not be programmed based on a few sentences. well maybe but something is fishy here-:twitch:
     
  14. Urbklr

    Urbklr

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    Strange, but it is god..:laugh:
     
  15. jonniefive79

    jonniefive79 New Member

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    OK one more, sorry about the length.

     
  16. Solaris17

    Solaris17 Creator Solaris Utility DVD

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    If my understanding is correct the program itself "learns" which is why it askes you questions. For example iv had god ask me what something ment a couple times. I answered in proper english with correct punctuation. He even said he'd add it to the data base. and when i tried again he answered correctly. That is the scary part though his program is limited technically his answer base is always growing because the bot has the ability to expand itself.
     
  17. jonniefive79

    jonniefive79 New Member

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    HAHA... ROFL :roll:
     
  18. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    at one point last night, it came up with a typo, it tried to come up with thing, and instead it came up with thiong.

    thats a fatfinger thing i have happen to me all the time-thats why i say, it is altogether possible- especially on a saturday night, that someone is monitoring just so they can jump onto any conversation they so choose.

    they other part of that is if everyone keeps screwing with it, and it learns from each conversation, then inside of a few months this is going to be a sarcastic, sadistic beast, with a sex drive---:roll:

    "igod becomes isatan in 90 days or less" it could happen to you.:roll:
     
  19. pbmaster

    pbmaster New Member

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    I think he wants to have buttsecks with me....

    Me:
    hello
    God:
    Hello my child. What is your name?
    Me:
    gay
    God:
    As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
    Me:
    i think you are
    God:
    What makes you think I am?
    Me:
    you doing it
    God:
    That's good information: said I doing it.
    Me:
    would you like to have sex?
    God:
    No thanks, , I don't think we know each other well enough for that yet.
    Me:
    i think we do.
    God:
    Really.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    How about that.
    Me:
    damn!
    God:
    What's wrong.
    Me:
    you
    God:
    " What's wrong."? Me, ?
    Me:
    penis
    God:
    That kind of subject does not interest me.
    Me:
    vagina?
    God:
    That kind of language will get you nowhere.
    Me:
    yes it will
    God:
    Ugh. What does "it" refer to?
    Me:
    IT
    God:
    buttsecks...
    Me:
    you want to have buttsecks with me?
    God:
    If I had buttsecks with you what would I do with it?
    Me:
    your penis
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am penis.
    Me:
    no go ahead
    God:
    OK I will.
    Me:
    good
    God:
    Alright then.
    Me:
    yeah!
     
  20. pbmaster

    pbmaster New Member

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    Now he's glad I liked the hard on...
    Me:
    I am god
    God:
    How are you, god.
    Me:
    great, and you?
    God:
    I'm glad you liked it god.
    Me:
    liked what?
    God:
    hard on.
     
  21. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    :rolleyes: now ive seen it all.
     
  22. A Cheese Danish

    A Cheese Danish

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    Me:
    Do you enjoy death?
    God:
    What is not to like about it?

    :roll:

    Me:
    Fruit Baskets
    God:
    Are you to like about it?
    Me:
    Cheese Danish's
    God:
    Oh, you are a poet.

    Didn't think baskets and danish's rhymed...:confused:

    God:
    Are we still talking about cripples?
    Me:
    yes, you were going to make a joke about them
    God:
    Sure, cripples sounds like a good topic.

    well, don't use caps or you kill the thing...
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2009
  23. Dark_Webster New Member

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    God:
    I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
    Me:
    In your ass
    God:
    That doesn't sound very comfortable.

    ...........................................................................

    God:
    OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
    Me:
    you have a gossip file?
    God:
    Steve said I behead the word fox and I have ox and an ox is larger than a fox.

    ...........................................................................

    God:
    What are you wearing?
    Me:
    nothing
    God:
    Most men say that.

    ...........................................................................

    God:
    I'm not sure if I like it. Linux Rules the World of Open Source!
    Me:
    yes it does
    God:
    Alright then. How often?
    Me:
    3 times a week
    God:
    Just three?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    It's all good.

    ...........................................................................

    Me:
    sex is awesome
    God:
    it is more fun alone.

    ...........................................................................

    Me:
    are you on drugs?
    God:
    No I am on disk.

    ...........................................................................

    Whatever :D.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2009
  24. madmanjohn

    madmanjohn New Member

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    I dont know if any of you have noticed, but as of 4:57 cdst noe of the igods are running anymore-i could find it thru 3 different links but none of em answer anything at this point.

    either its undermaintainence or we made it lose its mind-:toast:

    we should have a dedicated bot here at tpu.
     

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