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my daughter was adopted

Discussion in 'General Nonsense' started by candle_86, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. candle_86 New Member

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    Most of you don't know or any i think, back in 05 i had a kid with a girl, but she refused me parental rights and didn't put my name on the birth cirtificate. Long story short she just called me to apologize and told me last year our daughter became a ward of the state of Arizona, Its been a year since it happened and she is just not letting me know. I'll never get to meet my daughter now, and that sucks, i wish i could have, and i hate her for not giving me the chance to even meet her. I have been hurt before, but this is a pain i can't even descibe yet, i just feel numb and confused, really.
  2. JC316

    JC316 Knows what makes you tick

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    That is some serious crap. You should be able to get DNA testing done on her and get some sort of rights. If you can't, I am VERY sorry for that, no one should have to endure it.
  3. hat

    hat Maximum Overclocker

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    Wow... that is seriously fucked up. No matter who you are or what you've done everyone at least deserves to see thier own children.
    Crunching for Team TPU
  4. candle_86 New Member

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    im going to bed, gonna try to sleep
  5. PP Mguire

    PP Mguire New Member

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    Wow that sucks. Seems today has been the day of repulsive news :/
  6. Nitro-Max

    Nitro-Max New Member

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    Sorry to hear that mate i know how you feel i have 2 kids here with me but i also have a 3rd a little girl called Reanna ive never seen her my ex range me the day she was born to tell me that she was healthy told me what she named her and i havent heard anything since i live 180 miles away from her and she also moved without telling me so ive never had any contact with my daughter. Now 8 years on i find she was being a bad mum and had her taken away and she was in foster care in 2006 now 8 years on i still dont know what to do for the best i think about her all the time and the natural thought is i wanna go get her.
    But what chance have i got? what rights? It would be a long battle it propably would dissrupt family life not to mention hers too i mean 8 years on im just a stranger to her she could be settled in a family and might be happy me showing up might just mix her up alot more. so i know how you feel.
  7. BarbaricSoul

    BarbaricSoul

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    Candle, contact a lawyer, there's got to be something you can do. I see no reason why the state would try to stop you from being a father to your child, especailly if your child was put in foster care without your knowledge.
    Crunching for Team TPU
  8. DOM

    DOM

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    hope you make it through this idk what i'll do if that happen to me my lil girls in the room with me right now trying to talk to me lol

    i think shes saying dad get off the comp and change me and wheres my bottle lol


    but i would find out if you can do something about it good luck
  9. lemonadesoda

    lemonadesoda

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    I know this sounds blxxdy aweful, but in most countries, a "father" not married to the mother has no rights unless the mother legally assigns rights. Even though you are the "natural" father, you need to officially "adopt" the child. (or some other legal mumbo jumbo). If the monther doesnt give this to you... you are screwed. In many countries the mother does NOT have to write the fathers name on the birth certificate.

    Stupid isnt it? Outmoded legal system.

    Conversely, an unmarried woman DOES have the right to SUE you for child maintenance if you are the (to you unknown) father of her child. Boris Becker IIRC is a great example of this.

    One way isnt it?

    But here's the worst:

    If you are married and your wife cheats and gets pregnant, the child is still YOUR CHILD in the eyes of the law.

    Oh man, this whole parenting (fathership) issue needs a serious overhaul.
  10. intel igent

    intel igent New Member

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    Bible thumpin' candle has a daughter! Born out of wedlock! Plus I thought you were with your last girl for SO long.....

    It does'nt add up to me.....

    If it's true it sucks and I hope you can maybe get some good from the situation
  11. candle_86 New Member

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    Ok intel, i wasn't always a christian, back in 06 me and my girl split for 2 weeks, i went out to arizona to meet up with a friend of mine, a female friend, i didn't think we'd be doing that, but she had other ideas. Things got out of hand and I left the state, not knowing she was pregnant. Her mother told me she was and that it was mine because her daughter hadn't been with anyone since i left. I told Amanda what happened in Arizona, but since we wern't together she said oh well and we moved on. I contacted my friend but she wanted nothing to do with me and didn't want me to have contact with the child.

    I didn't get serious into church till mid 07, make a lil more sense now?
  12. btarunr

    btarunr Editor & Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Ehm? How come this isn't conservative (if not religious)?

    Sorry to hear that candle, would you agree some laws suck?
    russianboy says thanks.
  13. Ahhzz

    Ahhzz

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    :roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

    never?
  14. AsRock

    AsRock TPU addict

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    Real sad, move ya ass over there and get settled and try to get to see her when you can. IF you really want some thing you'll get it.

    As my wife already had a kid by some one else b4 we got married ( 7 yo at the time now 13 ). Her real dad has every chance to see her but is more interested in drinking and doing what his GF says which does not like his daughter( How lame is that ).. He acts all he cares and stuff and she ( his daughter ) has not realized just yet what a ass he is YET!..

    There should be no reason why you cannot see your daughter. Do what ever it takes right ?.. And if you fail get the f back up and try again.... This way at least you tried even if it's pointless at least you kept at it..... I know i would not be taking that crap...
  15. candle_86 New Member

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    ive contacted the State of Arizona, waiting on a call back
  16. Ahhzz

    Ahhzz

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    *sigh* yeah, gotta agree with the rest. No matter who, it's rough when something like this happens. Good luck.
  17. WhiteLotus

    WhiteLotus

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    If you can prove beyond doubt (DNA) that the child is yours - i doubt you'll get any type of access rights. And plus, is adoption confidential?

    If it is i doubt you will see your daughter at all. May have to wait and see if she gets told or figures it out for herself for her to find you.
  18. candle_86 New Member

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    adoption is confidental and she asked for our daughter not to know who her mom is. She was less than a year old when it happened so she won't have any memories of her mom. As for DNA id have to first convince the state. Arizona called me back, they can't do much, she was given over to a private state funded adoption service
  19. lemonadesoda

    lemonadesoda

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    eh? is that a deliberate oxymoron? Or just some private company getting loads of cash...

    Call Opera! Honestly, it's your best bet. I real life story made public will do much more to change the status quo than trying to "break into" bureaucracy.

    That will never happen. candle is NOT on the birth certificate.

    IMO candle, the best way to deal with this is to consider yourself a high class sperm bank. Some stranger out there has scored some lucky DNA. Be proud of it and move on.
  20. WhiteLotus

    WhiteLotus

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    yea but her REAL mum/mom is
  21. candle_86 New Member

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    lol, yea when she starts attacking libs and zones out on a computer im sure her adoption parents will love her :p
  22. candle_86 New Member

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    yes but she won't have access to any of that information, her mother is to blame on that one, she asked them to be locked permanitly, only that bitch can allow our daughter to see them

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