Mate sorry for your losses but really your not born again every day you just live until there is no life. There will always be something after death where that be new life or absolutely nothing at all, like nothing could be after death you know but that in itself is something. We Catholics believe that whatever is beyond death is Heaven where that be new life on earth or another place or nothing at all. If you die from a disease or sickness or natural causes thats what happens its life. If you die from caused circumstances like you gave your self cancer by smoking or you got knocked down by a car or you were gunned down thats not natural its not life. We have choices and we have to use em correctly, no one should die from caused circumstances not even those that have done terrible things they need to realise what they have done, be punished but rehabilitated at the same time. There is a reason people do things and we have to find that out, no one does anything for no reason, reasons can be from metal health problems or revenge ect. Accidents are casued by not knowing or not paying attention. Circumstantial deaths are one that we cannot cause or did not cause. We never live with a death its just life, we have to realise that others may depend on us or that we can make a difference, we dont get over it or live with it because it is just life. Grieving is fruitless at best it causes pain and suffering. 1 person dies 1 takes its place it sounds cold heartless and robotic but its what happens. No point saying sorry because there is noting to be apologetic about, what i can say is i feel that you lost a person you really liked and now you cant experience that anymore but be comforted in the fact that you yourself could be making someone else happy. PS. Loyalty is bullshit i just look at both sides and see why they believe something and try to see it from there point of view, make them see where im coming from and then mash the two together with mutual understanding, maybe some of it is correct and some of the other is correct? Loyalty sometimes requires going against your own judgement or being led into believing things that are terrible.