You're right, it is sad. If all CPU coolers were created equal, why would there even be a market?
May I ask your qualifications to make that first claim?
Your first question is NOT the same as the question asked in the poll. The question in the poll is more of a, which is heavier a ton of feathers, or a ton of bricks?
The first is a question about the total room, NOT the CPU. If a ROOM is 70F and a CPU cooler can manage to keep the CPU at 100F under full load 125W (for example), we would say the cooler was able to remove 125W of heat at 30 T delta. If you got an after market cooler and it kept the CPU at 90F, 125W under full loaded all else being equal, the after market cooler would be better, it would have a 20 T Delta.
The same 125W is being dissipated irregardless of a better cooler. Lets agree on that.
The room will remain at 70F AVERAGE irregardless of what cooler is used as 125W is being dissipated. Lets agree on that.
The CPU temperature will be the ONLY change, but heat flow (flux) will remain the same.
When controlling for all other variables, the same total heat will be entering the room, the only difference is the Thermal Flux Delta (thermal conductive/capacitance) of how well the cooler can move heat from point A to point B.
That is why and how we use better coolers, their TDelta is better, and that is why people review coolers in the same environment.
Lets do a thought experiment, if you have bottle of champagne to cool ( for V day) and you wanted to cool it, whats the most efficient way cause bae is showing up wearing a garter, thigh highs, and a trench coat in 15 minutes and we forgot the champagne in the trunk and its 90F
We can cool it with water that has a Tdelta of 40F lower than the champagne.
We have air in the fridge that has a Tdelta of 70F lower than the champagne.
We have ice that has a Tdelta of 90F lower than the champagne.
We have salt.
The answer is to add salt to the ice, and a little water to cover as much of the bottle as possible.
Does the salt make ice colder? Nope. It increases the thermal flux of the water, allowing the water to remain liquid water even in below freezing conditions, which increases the chance of the champagne being ice cold and bubbly. Without making this a full physics lesson, you will always have the same amount out as you put in when dealing with heat, the only thing we can change is the amount of transfer to make everything closer to equal.