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10 tips to becoming a tedious VR hater (Satirical news)

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Found this amazing article, definitely worth a read if you wanna become a VR hater.

We spoke to ModoNet journalist and unrelenting VR naysayer, Dan Calamity, to get some advice on how to effectively bring the VR doom.


Dan said "If you're one of those self-appointed tech experts who enjoy squirting your journalistic wisdom over your readers then I've got some top tips that are guaranteed to accelerate the ruin".

1) ‎Ensure you frequently mention the absence of an all powerful killer app that consumers will be powerless to resist. Say stuff like 'Where's my GTA and Mario' irrespective of how relevant they are to VR


2) ‎Blindly refuse to recognize VR has any potential outside of porn


3) ‎Insist the holo-deck should be available NOW and the fact it isn't is a collective failing of the entire VR industry


4) ‎Claim all mobile VR is not proper VR and will probably remain a bit shit forever


5) ‎Grumble that high-end VR costs over $3000 and is only for lonely people with a spare room


6) ‎Claim all VR software is guaranteed to make everyone projectile vomit onto their shoes in less than 12 seconds


7) ‎Compare VR to 3DTV, Kinect and Laser Disk and comment they're exactly like VR so therefore destined to failure


8) ‎Casually mention that Apple aren't making VR so it's probably doomed because Apple are magical and a bit special


9) ‎Announce that AR will destroy VR because it's the same but kind of different


10) ‎When discussing VR's ability to transport users to other worlds, allowing them to have inspiring, educational, enlightening or thrilling experiences remind your audience this can be achieved much more cheaply with a combination of hard drugs





And there you have it. If you enjoy unnecessary negativity and really want to look like a bit of uneducated tw*t for the sake of extra clicks then now you know how.
 
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8) ‎Casually mention that Apple aren't making VR so it's probably doomed because Apple are magical and a bit special
TRUE! "an apple a day, keep the doctor away!" they are magical!... oh .. they talk about the company, who incidentally make overpriced product, that "invented" and patented nearly everything? errrrr...

5) ‎Grumble that high-end VR costs over $3000 and is only for lonely people with a spare room
ah ... well... i am fine with my Medion Erazer WMR HMD ... 300ish but still a enjoyable experience for me, game or not game

2) ‎Blindly refuse to recognize VR has any potential outside of porn
wait... it has other uses? I'VE BEEN LIED TO! :oops:


4) ‎Claim all mobile VR is not proper VR and will probably remain a bit shit forever
awwww ... and to say i was introduced to VR via a smartphone and a Shinecon VR glorified cardboard device... :cry:
 

bug

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Well, #1 is pretty solid: why buy special hardware if you can't do anything special with it?

There's plenty of potential for VR, but imho probably not in the consumer space. Our friends in the US don't get that people in Europe and Asia live in small apartments. Usually you can't easily arrange for a room where you can flap your hands around like crazy. You wouldn't need to flap your hands around playing a plane/space sim, but then how do you look at the VR goggles and your HOTAS joystick at the same time?

I don't consider myself a naysayer. I'm just not willing to part with that kind of cash before manufacturers and developers figure out the kinks.
 
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Screen Shot 2020-10-28 at 10.47.59 AM.png
 
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2) ‎Blindly refuse to recognize VR has any potential outside of porn

When I was your age we didn't have VR porn. We had the SI swimsuit magazine and you got a nasty stare from the school librarian every time you asked her to see it!
 
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When I was your age we didn't have VR porn. We had the SI swimsuit magazine and you got a nasty stare from the school librarian every time you asked her to see it!


Powerful imagery.
 

bug

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Yeah, that is false. People that are proficient in a particular area are harder to move because, lo and behold, they can get results already.
Look at great C or C++ programmers. Whatever new, fancy language you can come up with, they'll just look at it and reply: I can already do that. Because they've invested the time and understood all the intricacies. A noob will become more productive, sooner if they learn Java or .Net instead of C/C++. But they will never be able to implement something as efficient as a C/C++ programmer would.

Now, none of that applies to VR. But it shows your quote (or whatever) is blatantly false.
 
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2) ‎Blindly refuse to recognize VR has any potential outside of porn
I've tried it once and it just felt really weird, it was the only time that VR made me uncomfortable and a bit nauseous (I think it was the perspective mostly that caused the issue as I can happily fly in flight sims and not have an issue)
 

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They forgot to talk about petaFLOPS and using your own body as controllers.o_O

Also, I can't wait for the next Zuckulus Quest to use the eye-callibration cameras to detect closed eyes and pause the ads. -This post was written by a pimax enjoyer.
 
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Hi,
Can't say I hate VR but the price sure warms me up a little.
 
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Yeah, that is false. People that are proficient in a particular area are harder to move because, lo and behold, they can get results already.
Look at great C or C++ programmers. Whatever new, fancy language you can come up with, they'll just look at it and reply: I can already do that. Because they've invested the time and understood all the intricacies. A noob will become more productive, sooner if they learn Java or .Net instead of C/C++. But they will never be able to implement something as efficient as a C/C++ programmer would.

Now, none of that applies to VR. But it shows your quote (or whatever) is blatantly fale
Someone with a Computer Science degree almost certainly understood that learning would continue to be a moving target throughout their professional career. People who code for fun and dream in machine language probably enjoy a new programming language like a new toy. We are talking about legitimate intellectual curiosity here,…

Those who don’t resemble this depiction likely either picked the wrong field to go into or have been in it too long.
 
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"poppycock" what ever that means but sounds apt. for VR the only way is up i love it i build my riggs around it. and why porn ? ive nothing against it like whatever floats ya boat eh but i think it reflexs on what Dan Calamity thinks about but as i said what ever floats his boat. hes outa touch poor guy :) .
 
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