Man, don't do the army thing, it will topple over (is that well said, actually?) your mind if you feel as you feel now. It would not be a way out but a kind of pit, unless it somehow strengthens you but that is a bit of a gamble (it could also completely cripple you, if you are sent to war, so then you are unable to repay the loans). Maybe something related to that politics stuff TV channels do? You know, explaining backgrounds of that stuff to viewers (if that is what your major covers). BTW, this could better be discussed at generalnonsense.net, TPU's daughter.