Old Uncle Kreij's 2011 Gamers' Christmas Contest

[_JP_]

i think tpu is the best because we have the best motherboard reviewer on the planet

Yeah, couldn't agree better.
Hey, where is themailman, btw? (or crazyeyesreaper, by that matter)

 

[spixel]

Q. Why is techpowerup forums the best?

A. if you take the letters in "techpowerup " you can create the following

we r the popu (lar)
or
we r pope


edit-

 

[CDdude55]

I don't need crack i don't need weed, TPU is all i need. lol

 

[Irony]

i think tpu is the best because we have the best motherboard reviewer on the planet

Along with W1zz's graphics reviews.

 

[Kreij]

I don't need crack i don't need weed, TPU is all i need. lol

No crack or weed is what I hears, just TPU and a couple beers.

Keep up the good work all, I'm enjoying the entries a lot. I knew I could count on you jackwagons.

Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol
(If I get banned for trolling my contest thread I'll make sure the winner still gets the prize somehow. )

 

[btarunr]

Apparently TMZ is a better website than Nasa.gov (higher traffic), so TPU can't be the best website on the internet. Rather, TPU is the best website to me, out of the same love you'd have towards something you created, or the Creator.

I've created, and helped create a lot of content on TPU, and helped shape the website at every scale (be it major functional changes, or minor cosmetic ones). At the same time, TPU and the community have given a lot to me. So I have a bit of bonding with TPU, and that's what makes TPU the best website for me.

 

[Irony]

Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol

That doesn't rule out critical mass!!


My first entry will probably become unofficial soon...I've been getting ideas.

 

[Kreij]

Here's one for the old farts who remember S&G ...

Hello TPU, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
With dreams of banning while I was sleeping
And the tech news that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the realm made by W1zzard

In pointess threads I walked alone
Narrow posts of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a LCD
I turned my collar to the cold and Cheep
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the realm made by W1zzard

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand members, maybe more
Members talking without speaking
Members hearing without listening
Members writing posts that voices never share
And no one cared
Don't disturb the realm made by W1zzard

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Trolling like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent keystrokes fell
And echoed
In the realm made by W1zzard

And the people bowed and prayed
To the internet god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the forum walls
And the mods' halls"
And whispered in the realm made by W1zzard

 

[MilkyWay]

*OFFICIAL ENTRY*
Better the devil you know!

TPU is crack for tech junkies.
It has the readers digest of tech news.
It has the playboy pics of hardware pr0n.
Like the citizens advice bureau if it did computer advice.

TPU HQ is a classy joint.

I like techpowerup because im a glutton for punishment.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those nights when your've got no lights, the check is in the mail.
And your little angel hung the cat up by it's tail.

And your third fiancé didn't show!

Sometimes you wanna go..

Where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
the troubles are all the same.
you wanna be where everybody knows your name

You roll out of bed, mr. Coffee is dead, the morning's looking bright
And your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write.

And your husband wants to be a girl!

Be glad there's one place in the world

Where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

[Repeat]
Where everybody knows your name.
And they're always glad you came.

 

[Irony]

I think we should all get out while we still have a shred of dignity; those of us who had any to begin with. Kreij is obviously going to win his prize of which no one is yet sure.
Not a one of us stands a chance. . . oh wait, can he win his own contest? Of course he can. He probably has several other profiles by which he submits amazing pagefuls of literary genius with which to pursuade the other half of his alter personality to let him win his own contest.

Wait...

 

[Kreij]

If I gave the prize of my contest to myself the bloodbath I would receive here on TPU would be legendary even in hell.

Your post made me laugh, Irony. Thanks.

 

[theJesus]

Prize hint .... drumroll ... it's bigger than a raisin. lol
(If I get banned for trolling my contest thread I'll make sure the winner still gets the prize somehow. )

Fuck this shit, I wanted a god damned raisin!

j/k, I'm still in

 

[Kreij]

I've decided to reveal the prize. It's a A69rt559jfJaSFHH99Lozr9304d10w88q

Dang :/
For some reason my browser encrypted the prize text. Oh well.

 

[scaminatrix]

I've decided to reveal the prize. It's a A69rt559jfJaSFHH99Lozr9304d10w88q
Dang :/
For some reason my browser encrypted the prize text. Oh well.

Hmmmm.... I'm sure this is one of those cryptic clues Kreij is famous for...
Or I've just spent 20 minutes trying to decipher gibberish

 

[Kreij]

It's gibberish, but if you want I can post a real hash of the prize that you won't ever be able to decipher anyway. lol

This is a Christmas contest guys. Do you think I would let you down?

 

[scaminatrix]

And I thought it was a clue

 

[Kreij]

And I thought it was a clue

This is not directed at you Scam, just gotta say it ...

Here's the real clue. Members who've been around for awhile know this.

In 2008 our only son, and only child, was killed in a car accident.
He was going to college and learning to be a game designer. I was so looking forward to playing his first game. That dream is gone.
I spoiled the crap out of him by buying him lots of cool tech stuff and games at Christmas.
I don't have the joy of doing that any more. So I do it for you guys because you're my tech family now.
I do this in memory of him. His name was Garrett.

Enter the contest for me if nothing else. I really could use some laughs.

 

[qubit]

This is not directed at you Scam, just gotta say it ...

Here's the real clue. Members who've been around for awhile know this.

In 2008 our only son, and only child, was killed in a car accident.
He was going to college and learning to be a game designer. I was so looking forward to playing his first game. That dream is gone.
I spoiled the crap out of him by buying him lots of cool tech stuff and games at Christmas.
I don't have the joy of doing that any more. So I do it for you guys because you're my tech family now.
I do this in memory of him. His name was Garrett.

Enter the contest for me if nothing else. I really could use some laughs.

Christ that's awful. I'm really sorry for your loss. Considering how well you treat us troublesome reprobates, I know he got nothing but the best from you and your wife and you guys should feel proud, always.

You always make great posts and I love to thank them, but I dunno if thanking news like this is appropriate or not?

You're a good guy, K and TPU is an even better place because of you. I'll make an entry soonest.

 

[theJesus]

I'm real sorry to hear that, man.

 

[Irony]

I'm really sorry to hear that. That's the most tragic thing I've heard in a long while. Now I feel depressed.

I think everyone can relate, because we've all had someone we know die. In the last 5 years I've had 6 family members die. mostly of natural causes, but still its very sobering.

 

[assaulter_99]

R.I.P Garett. I kinda feel for ya man, I can surely know its hard (have had my fair share of family deaths to deal with recently) It ain't fair, but anyways, is life fair at all? I just keep asking myself these questions over and over again.

Oh well I guess we all have to move on.

 

[DannibusX]

This is my official entry

I came to TPU to find some answers about an issue I was having with one of the first computers I built. My first post about it was subsequently ignored for a week. I bumped it and got plenty of helpful feedback. I started reading hardware reviews, namely video card reviews from W1zzard and found them to be really well done and it made some hardware purchases really easy for me.

Then I started talking to the community much more and found a bunch of people to play video games with. I like the modern era, with so many people I can make friends with around the world and talk to, play games with yet never meet in person. It's amazing.

I like to read people's opinions on hardware, games and other software and watch hilarity ensue over whether CoD was the most awesome thing ever or AMD was a consistent failure to nVidia essentially being the cause of global warming.

I went back and found my first ever post on TPU:

It turns out (quite embarassingly) that I had plugged the 4-pin connecter on my 20+4 into my motherboard first, which would hold the 20 pin out just enough to cause my system to hang on startup. I ended up selling that mobo/ram/proc combo to Solaris17, one of the many awesome dudes that consistently put up with crap from me on the forum.

The ass kissing part? I have had no problems with any of the staff for TPU, I've even said a fair number of questionable things over the last 2 years I've been posting here. If they have an issue, they've always sent a kind PM. Except for Sneekypeet. He's tried to get me drunk to take advantage of me on several occasions. Luckily, over many years of the bar scene, I have developed a tolerance to GHB.

Edit: I also got to give credit where credit is due. I probably wouldn't have found TPU if it weren't for GPU-Z being available on File Hippo.

 

[Kreij]

For all those who celebrate the Thanksgiving Holiday, HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL.
We al have trials and tribulation in our lives, but it's always good to reflect on all the blessings and good things that have come your way, and be thankful for them.

I'm thankful for finding TPU and getting to meet some of the finest tech junkies and programmers on the internet. You guys have saved me countless hours when troubleshooting problems and have really made my life and this website a lot of fun.
May God bless you all ... always.

Okay, that's all. Get back to working on your entries.

 

[sixequalszero]

What's the prize?

Priority registration

 

[MilkyWay]

Needs moar entries.