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qubit's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 GIVEAWAY competition!

Fun poll! TechPowerUp is:


  • Total voters
    119

qubit

Overclocked quantum bit
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#1
UPDATE: We have a winner! It's Damn_Smooth

Well done! You've made a couple of awesomely funny posts and cracked me up laughing. :toast: It took balls to confess these facepalm embarrassments in public. Respect. :rockout:

I've reposted them here:

It was 5th grade English class, the day I decided that I was a lot tougher than I really was. My adverssary's name was Jeremy Kraft. He was the biggest kid in class, and also the most mentally challenged.

He had just stood up and given the most embarassing public display of stupidity that my 10 year old self had yet witnessed. When called upon to read his answers to the class, he was unable to read his own handwriting.

In all of my maturity at the time, I found this to be one of the most hilarious things that I had ever seen.

Naturally, he wasn't too impressed with the amount of laughter I was contributing to the situation, and he decided that he wanted to fight after school.

Now we come to the point that a normal 75 pound 5th grader would back down and apologize to the 180 pound kid that had every right to be upset. But not me, I was special.

Up to this point in my life, I had been a huge fan of the World Wrestling Federation, and there was no amount of reasoning with me that could convince me it was fake. In my world, people beat up people twice thier size on a daily basis. Why should this turn out any different? So I did what any reasonable 10 year old with an irrational belief in fantasy would do. I accepted the challenge.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/challenge-accepted-original.jpg

The rest of the school day passed without issue. I calmly awaited the bell, and when it finally came, I had not broken a sweat. We left the school and met up in the parking lot. Of course, we were smart enough not to fight there because we knew that the teachers would break it up if we chose there to start, so we were off to the fight arena, which was 5 blocks away from the school, and well secluded from any adult intervention.

It was an interesting walk there, with him telling me about the beating he was about to administer, and me laughing at him and making disparaging remarks about his intelligence and his weight. This was definitely not the smartest plan of action on my part, but I was confident in my ability to slay the giant, and nothing but time would make me change my mind. It didn't help matters that our little group of witnesses was laughing and encouraging me the whole time. Reason didn't have a chance to set in.

It was time, the walk was over and it was time to show the ogre who was boss. we squared off and looked each other in the eyes. Rage displayed in his and cocky overconfidence displayed in mine. a few circle turns and I was ready for the kill. He lunged at me, which I easily side stepped, and using the best logic that my W.W.F. inspired fantasy could provide me, I jumped on his back to put him in the sleeper hold. Now if you've ever seen wrestling, this was a surefire way to take him out. In reality, it was a way for him to jump in to the air and land on top of me. That was the moment the fight was really over, all of the wind was knocked out of me, and I was done.

I just wish someone would have told him that. He decided that he should add a little more punishment and started elbowing me in the head repeatedly. After 4 or 5 blows and a bloody nose, he had worked out his rage and let me go. It was finally over, and with it went my blind faith in the legitamacy of professional wrestling.

Since that day I have been trying to reclaim my honor through the destruction of enemies in various videogames. I have not yet had the honor of playing the Modern Warfare games, but I'm sure that killing some Russians will give me a pure shot of testicular fortitude.

Win, lose, or draw, thanks qubit for holding this contest.:toast:
qubit, if I am able to add these games to my collection, it will help me overcome the black hole of suck that is currently known as my FPS gaming capability. I have not joined any of the TPU servers for games for a reason, and that reason is pure incompetence.

The only thing I am relatively competent at is not suiciding, and that is probably due to someone else offing me first. Give me an open map with only me in it and I'm sure I could figure out a way to kill myself.

I am far from proud of admitting my incompetence in an open forum, but hell, I need all of the help I can get.

I joined a BFBC2 server yesterday and there was only one other person in it. He was obviously almost as noobish as me because I only found him because he was running around blowing up barrels. I found him while he was facing the other direction and started shooting him in the back. Cowardly, I know, but I figured that I could increase my kill rate to one. But it was not to be. Somehow he withstood my barrage of bullets to his back and ran around the corner of a building. Being the loyal doofus that I am, I had to follow him to make sure that he was ok, or something like that. As soon as I turned the corner the bastard headshotted me and I was done for.

Quite a bit of profanity flowed from my mouth after I lost the completely easy kill, and I decided to join again for a rematch, but he had taken his victory and left me with a map full of nothing but tears. Vengeance was not meant to be mine.

As you can see, my FPS skills amount to those of a mentally handicapped crackhead with Parkinson's Disease and Tourette's.

If I win these games, I promise to use them to the best of my ability to improve my game, and hopefully be able to join the TPU servers without making a complete mockery of myself and my team.

Again, thank you for holding this contest, and here is a pre-congratulations to whoever wins.

Yes, you heard that right, I will personally buy a copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, the upcoming blockbuster game due for release on 08 November 2011 and give it away to one lucky winner! :rockout:
On top of that, the pre-purchase also comes with bonus game Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Yup, two grade A games in one competition. Awesome, huh? :)

Why am I doing this? I like to give something back to our community from time to time and this competition has been inspired by the many positive responses to my thread You interested in a free (legit) copy of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare? which was really nice as it's an old game that many of you have, so I figured that a competition upgrade would be in order. :cool:

To enter, simply tell me why you should be the one to have it - and make your sales pitch interesting. The more funny, humorous, comic, ridiculous, hilarious and outrageous you make it, the better chance you have of winning. To differentiate yourself from your fellow contestants, feel free to add one or more pictures to your post and format your post anyway you want. On top of that, you can make more than one entry!

After the closing date, I will look over all the entries and decide on a lucky winner.


A Steam account and client software is required for this game to work. Download the client from http://store.steampowered.com/about if you need to. If you have any objections to Steam, then please don't enter the competition.


COMPETITION RULES

- Closing date: 21 October 2011 at 23:59 GMT - that's 6 weeks of hot submissions
- Everyone can enter - no restrictions. That means members, new members, mods and admins are all welcome!
- You can make more than one entry. However, don't spam the thread relentlessly
- You can edit your entry as many times as you like until the closing date. An edit after this will disqualify you
- You can continue to post for the purpose of discussion after the closing date, but don't make any more competition entries, which won't count. They won't disqualify you though if you forget
- Abide by TPU forum rules


FUN POLL

Why not take part in my fun poll? Voting is optional and the poll will not affect the competition. Votes are public and you can select more than one option.


My HeatWare. I'd be grateful if the winner could give me positive feedback once they have received their prize. :)
 
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#2
I haven't played any FPS since (overplaying) Soldier of Fortune 2, especially RMG desert that I loved. Now here is the motivation for CODMW: The appalling state of the NHS means that I need to take care of my health myself. And CODMW could help me keep fit and get an adrenaline fix while sitting here at my PC . It will also prepare me for the rebels that will come and topple this two-faced government we've got now. Not better than the last one, mind! LOL. Seriously, the concentration and reflex skills might be good practice for this old granddaddy! And it would also motivate me to upgrade this rig! It's fine for most of what I do (productivity software and browsing) but it doesnt cut the mustard to play latest games. Time to upgrade!?
 
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#3
Actually, I'm not that interested in MW3, but just CoD4 :D

So pick me for the cheapest winner ;)
 
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#4
I want it. I have pre-ordered the game (absolutely ages ago) but if you're giving it away, give it to me, and I can cancel the pre-order from game.co.uk and save some dosh.




















pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
pretty please with a cherry bun on top
 

Mussels

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#5
why do i want it? because i've played every other CoD game to death, and i'm hoping that they're getting better, and not worse (and i hated black ops, so i wont buy MW3 - free is all good however)


as for my reason for entering? f*ck, i moved into these forums years ago and they cant get me to leave. its like going to jail overnight for drink driving, and staying so long they make you an honorary cop and give you a baton to whack the other inmates with. you couldnt STOP me joining into this thread, gotta whore my post count somehow

(and i'll infract the mailman78 if you let me win. seriously.)
 

Black Panther

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#6
I would like the games because I can't shoot.
I mean seriously, very seriously.

I've got a great aim in real life (I regularly go spear-fishing with a compressed air spear-gun) but when it comes to virtual reality I'm one big FAIL.

I manage in the Fallout series only thanks to the VATS system (ie you press V, the game is paused, you choose a body part... then shoot) :eek: nice...

For that reason I rarely ever bought FPS games.

But if I were to win such a game, I'd have to play it... and as they say, practice makes perfect :) And so thanks to your gift I'd be able to buy FPS games without that nagging fear that I'd have to give up after the first 5 minutes.
Imagine what a good deed you'd have done to the entire gaming community and to the game creators and developers!! :D


Oh, and if I win the games rest assured I'd be making numerous awesome polls on them, all in your honour :) :respect:
 
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#7
gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime gime

because im real poor and i have 50 children to feed ... il feed em mw3 bits! WOW its YOUR change to feed 50 children with 1 ez move! lol


seriously i just changed jobs and i will not have the cash in time to buy this as i accumulated debt while changing jobs ! and i would love a free game to occupy my small free time windows between working and playing my my daughter.
 

qubit

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#8
why do i want it? because i've played every other CoD game to death, and i'm hoping that they're getting better, and not worse (and i hated black ops, so i wont buy MW3 - free is all good however)


as for my reason for entering? f*ck, i moved into these forums years ago and they cant get me to leave. its like going to jail overnight for drink driving, and staying so long they make you an honorary cop and give you a baton to whack the other inmates with. you couldnt STOP me joining into this thread, gotta whore my post count somehow

(and i'll infract the mailman78 if you let me win. seriously.)
No shit Mussels, you've cracked me up with that one! :roll: We can't get rid of the post whore, eh? ;)

Tell you what, I'll do ya a deal: custom BAN mailman right now and you'll win instantly! <bribery and corruption changes hands. Oh shit, I said it in public. Quick, hide!!! :p>
 

Kreij

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#9
i moved into these forums years ago and they cant get me to leave. its like going to jail overnight for drunk driving, and staying so long they make you an honorary cop and give you a baton to whack the other inmates with.
I can gaurantee that the above statement is 100% accurate and exactly how Mussels became a moderator.

As for me, I just ran into TPU headquarters and yelled "FIRE". In the ensuing chaos I picked up a banstick someone dropped when they were trambled trying to get out.

I don't want the game ... just came to say thanks for supporting the community, Q. :toast:
 

qubit

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#10
I can gaurantee that the above statement is 100% accurate and exactly how Mussels became a moderator.

As for me, I just ran into TPU headquarters and yelled "FIRE". In the ensuing chaos I picked up a banstick someone dropped when they were trambled trying to get out.
Oh, so that's how it was... :roll::roll:

I don't want the game ... just came to say thanks for supporting the community, Q. :toast:
You're very welcome, the members and staff are really great here. I'm lovin' every minute of it. :toast:
 

Splave

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#11
not interested in winning the game, (ordered for ps3 already) but kudos to you for giving it away. Nice to see there are nice people left.
 

brandonwh64

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#12
Your going to have half of the internet population joining TPU to win this free game :)
 
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#13
Its cool to give away free games.

i would like to believe i can avoid trolling this thread but thats a lie. you should give away a game that wont potentially suck balls. :cool:

awaits infraction*
 

erocker

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#14
Its cool to give away free games.

i would like to believe i can avoid trolling this thread but thats a lie. you should give away a game that wont potentially suck balls. :cool:

awaits infraction*
I'm just going to verbally scold you in CAPS..

TRITEX_CAN.. YOU'RE A VERY NAUGHTY BOY!! :slap: :mad:
 

Kursah

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#15
I won't buy the game, but I'd take it for free and probably play the hell out of it! Why won't I buy it? Because I skipped MW2 and then was super dissapointed by Black Ops! That makes me in need of some fresh CoD Modern Warfare action. I already own CoD4, which means I'd gift it to someone that doesn't own it TPU (if Steam will let me of course, I own a hardcopy, not a steam copy).

Besides it'll make you about 100 points awesomer-est if you gift me the game, reason being? When my e-peen ego grows, those that do good things around me get awesomer-est. It's just how tha internetz work! :D

:toast:
 

qubit

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#16
Thanks for your entries guys and girls, but please try to make them humorous. :) Making me laugh will really help. For a great example, see Mussel's entry in post 5 - had me in stitches. :D

Remember, you can make as many entries as you like (without spamming).
 
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Kreij

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#17
I think you should give it to me because by possessing the game it will allow me to rise above my current condition. To feed all of the hungry of the world. To end all wars and eliminate all diseases on our planet. To conquer space and time itself and usher in a new era of human development, redefining us as a cosmic leader to anyone else who may be watching in the universe. If that doesn't actually happen after I get the game, it's not my fault.

I still don't want the game, I just can't resist posting goofy crap. :D
 
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qubit

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#18
That's the best BS I've heard in a long time, K. :D:D

EDIT: Yes, it does make a great example for what's possible. Thanks matey. :)
 
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Kreij

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#19
Just helping the contest out by showing people how easy it is to make up stuff to enter. ;)
(Jeez ... I had enough typos in there. :laugh: )
 
Joined
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#20
Just helping the contest out by showing people how easy it is to make up stuff to enter. ;)
(Jeez ... I had enough typos in there. :laugh: )
That's what she says...
 
Joined
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Spain
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#21
I can't enter the competition because my computer seems it won't be capable of running it acceptabily (I would want to play it) :( but I want to thank you anyway :toast:
 
Joined
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Location
Tirana,Albania
System Name Th3 R3D X
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Software Win 7 Ultimate 64bit
#22
As u may already know it's not a problem to find games where I live but none of them playable online...!:banghead:
So that would be my main reason and in the meantime I'll throw u a joke:
An old man and an old lady meet in the park.after a while they start meeting everyday and sharing everything...at some point the man asks the woman a favour...yes she says what is it...
the old man:can u just hold "IT"(u know what I mean)
the old lady surprised said Yes
this thing went on for a couple of months when one day....the old woman went to the park but didn't see the old man...!!!
she put her glasses on to spot him with another woman...goes to them and angrily asks the old boy
WTF are u doing?After all we been together..How could u do it?What does she have that I don't...?
The old man:....honey she has Alzheimer....
 

qubit

Overclocked quantum bit
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#23
I can't enter the competition because my computer seems it won't be capable of running it acceptabily (I would want to play it) :( but I want to thank you anyway :toast:
Yes, your PC is a bit on the old side with a bottom end graphics card, but that shouldn't put you off, my friend. What better excuse for a PC enthusiast to upgrade his rig? :pimp: Even if money is tight, I'll bet you can find some decent used parts, perhaps by trading with members on here?

So, give me that funny entry and make me crack up! :toast:
 
Joined
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Location
A sad excuse of a country called Sudan.
System Name 192.168.1.1
Processor Intel Core i7 4770k
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Video Card(s) MSI GTX 780Ti Twin Frozr Gaming
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Display(s) A Samsung S24D590 Primary + Philips 220E (sans two pixel-columns) secondary
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Benchmark Scores Me no know English. What bench mean? Bench like one sit on?
#24
Mammia ! Someone actually thinks this game is worth it ! I thought I was the only one.
As for why give it to me, because I'm one of the few true CoD fans left there, who cares nothing for engine age and poor performance. Hell, my rig can play it all maxed out @1080p, so why give a damn ?

I hope you weren't expecting anything funny mate. I can't reach your standards of funny. Never managed to get English humour, and I doubt mine could get to u. Just gimme the bloody game and bugger off.

Edit: Bugger off ? Or was it "sod off" ? Ah, tell ya what. Give me the game and I'll adopt an English accent. Might even try to improve my grammar and try to use better punctuation ;).

Another Edit: So, what made you make up your mind and plan to get the game ny ways ?
 
Last edited:

qubit

Overclocked quantum bit
Joined
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Memory 16GB (4 x 4GB Corsair Vengeance DDR3 PC3-12800 C9 1600MHz)
Video Card(s) Zotac GTX 1080 AMP! Extreme Edition
Storage Samsung 850 Pro 256GB | WD Green 4TB
Display(s) BenQ XL2720Z | Asus VG278HE (both 27", 144Hz, 3D Vision 2, 1080p)
Case Cooler Master HAF 922
Audio Device(s) Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi Fatal1ty PCIe
Power Supply Corsair HX 850W v1
Software Windows 10 Pro 64-bit
#25
Mammia ! Someone actually thinks this game is worth it ! I thought I was the only one.
As for why give it to me, because I'm one of the few true CoD fans left there, who cares nothing for engine age and poor performance. Hell, my rig can play it all maxed out @1080p, so why give a damn ?

I hope you weren't expecting anything funny mate. I can't reach your standards of funny. Never managed to get English humour, and I doubt mine could get to u. Just gimme the bloody game and bugger off.

Edit: Bugger off ? Or was it "sod off" ? Ah, tell ya what. Give me the game and I'll adopt an English accent. Might even try to improve my grammar and try to use better punctuation ;).

Another Edit: So, what made you make up your mind and plan to get the game ny ways ?
For someone who doesn't get the humour, you've done pretty well. I liked this bit especially, "Just gimme the bloody game and bugger off." :laugh: Nothing like being blunt, eh? ;)

I think it was the price, I figured I'd wait a while for it to drop. However, on thinking about it a little while later, I thought "Sod it, I want it now!" Not only that, but I compounded it by buying another copy for this competition, lol. :cool: