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Steam Skyrim Contest !!

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Did you get the game okay Sol?
Yep, he got the game.. lol.. My "friends wish list" went from 2 people, to 1.. :roll:


I think as of 3am est he had only 2h in... He's slacking for the effort he gave in the essay... :nutkick:
 
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Congrats solaris, I you actually got me to read the whole thing. I usually dont read entire posts if theyre over 8-10 words long, but I read it and it was great. :respect: :toast::roll:
 

Komania

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...sharp detail of the thousands of pixels displaying in ultimate joy the HORRER within.
Just throwing that out there, it's spelled HORROR :)

Not important really, just one of those things that bothers me :p


And yeah, we wont be hearing from Solaris for another 2-3 months. If Skyrim is anything like Morrowind and Oblivion, it's like an addiction.
 
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Just throwing that out there, it's spelled HORROR :)

Not important really, just one of those things that bothers me :p


And yeah, we wont be hearing from Solaris for another 2-3 months. If Skyrim is anything like Morrowind and Oblivion, it's like an addiction.


It's sol... If the stupid words weren't spelled wrong, then we know it was someone else hacking his account.. lol


Even though, if you google the word, it does show it to be the "elite" way of spelling horror...
 

Kreij

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There were so many great entries I had to call upon a couple of other people to help me judge.
I am really impressed by the effort people put in, and I am really looking forward to seeing the entries in the next contest.
Look for it around December 1st, and it will be about a 2 week duration so I can get the prize to the winner as a Christmas present. :)

(I may put it up sooner to give people more time, I am still working out the details)
 

Solaris17

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Kreij

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Great. Thanks Sol.

I'll leave this thread open if anyone wants to rant about crappy games they can.
If not it will fade into obscurity.

Again ... thank you everyone who entered. You all make having contests on TPU a pleasure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Classic Thread Necro! :D


TPU Kreij MEMORIAL COMPETITION





As many of you will know, back in June last year we lost our good friend and Senior Moderator Dean Kortenhoven, better known to us as Kreij to Cancer. For those of you that knew Kreij you will know that not only was he a leading light within this community but he was one damn fine human being. TPU, his family and anyone who knew him well are the poorer without him.

Kreij is remembered throughout our community in many ways, none more prominent than our Memorial build giveaways that not only support current members with the opportunity to win good quality hardware/systems (giveaway builds are geared to be able to game/crunch/fold well)but just as importantly to add more machines to the constant war against this ugly and hateful disease, for that we have our crunching/folding friends to thank for these memorial builds as well as our outstanding TPU forum community, assisted by our good friend Norton. Kreij himself was one of the first members here to generously run giveaways as a thank you to this great community.

One or two of us thought it would be a good idea to complement the existing memorials with something a little different (Sneeky should take the credit for this idea) in the form of a competition but with a little twist. You see during his illness and treatment Kreij started writing a short story, he wanted distraction from what he was going through and by his very nature he was creative. Sadly he didn't get to quite finish the story and that’s where the competition comes in. Below you will see the said uncompleted short story, have a read, a smile and then help Kreij to complete it with as natural a follow on storyline ending as possible, you have just 300 - 500 words to do it in, that’s no less than 300 and no more than 500 so in effect between half and a full page of text. The competition is open to members who joined TPU on or before 1st October 2015 and have contributed a minimum of 50 posts as of 30th November 2015. We would ask you once completed to post back in this thread with a simple "I am in" and attach your entry to the post as a Rich Text Format (RTF) document to aid compatibility. You will need to zip the RTF file to attach it to your post, there are a number of free programmes that will do this, WinZip is but one.

OK, so what’s the prize? Well thanks to the support of Mark, our XFX Rep and the generosity of his company, XFX have kindly donated a XFX R7 370 4GB DD xxx OC graphics card, specs can be seen here…..

http://xfxforce.com/en-us/products/amd-radeon-r7-300-series/amd-radeon-r7-370-4gb-double-dissipation-r7-370p-f24m



The closing date for the competition is Wednesday 16th December @ 2359 hours UK GMT. We would hope to have decided on a winner by Christmas Eve at the latest, obviously that will depend on the amount of entries. There will be 3 judges, 2 from the community and our XFX Rep (Mark). The winner will have their prize shipped directly to them by XFX.

OK, now on to the story so far........................................


In the technology world, we know that there are a plethora of devices, drivers, applications and utilities. We have all seen and read the reviews from an almost endless selection of websites, print media and social media to get the latest and greatest information on the tech scene. The availability of having all of these resources is great for us consumers, but does anyone really stop to consider the depth of depravity that the reviewers must immerse themselves into to get you the real story?

The following is an inside look into what the real world of hardware reviewing is like. The names have been changed to protect those who are willing to step forward and reveal the sordid, uncompromising and unforgiving nature of what really goes on behind reviews. I will refer to my contact as “Chad”. I could refer to him as "TheGuyWhoAgreedToGiveMeAnInsideLookAtHardwareReviewing", but that would be stupid from almost every standpoint imaginable, so let's just go with "Chad".

The following information is not for the faint of heart or PETA members, you have been warned.

It was 3AM on a Friday morning when I received a text message on my phone that stated, "Now or never". I threw on some clothes, downed a cold cup of coffee that had been sitting in the pot from the night before and headed out to meet with my contact. It was a dark and stormy night, but I was not going to let that stop me from getting the real story to my readers.

I arrived at the agreed location. It was a typical home in a suburban area and the only indication that I was in the right place was a guy standing in the opened garage waving me in. The fact that he was brandish a Benelli M4 semi-automatic, tactical shotgun was of no concern as most of the hardware reviewers I know do that for NDA reasons.

Chad ushered me into the house and to a door that looked to be the entrance to his basement. The door was secured by four deadbolt locks, a magnetic card reader, a voice activated retina scanner and one of those little hook and ring latch thingies. It was obvious that security was of utmost importance. It could be that it was all unnecessary, and being a geek he just liked using high tech hardware, but I didn’t mention it as he was still wielding the shotgun.

When we entered the basement proper I was pleasantly surprised. What I expected to be a dank, dark room smelling of old gym socks and molding Doritoes, was actually an area that one could almost describe as hospital clean. There were tables with hardware set up on them and cameras on tripods nearby. Neatly lined on shelves were extra parts, tools and additional video equipment. I was impressed.

I turned to Chad and mentioned that this all looked pretty normal for what one would expect when reviewing hardware devices. Why all the precautions and secrecy?

Pointing over to one corner of the basement, Chad said, “Let me show you something.” The corner was dark, but as we got closer I could see some sort of makeshift doorway. It looked like a few 2x4s nailed together with some plastic wrap stretched over it. Chad asked me to step to the side and reached down and turned on a little switch at the bottom of the doorway. What happened next is somewhat difficult to describe as I think I was screaming the whole time.

The plastic wrap began to glow in fluorescent colors and after several seconds deflated into a space that could not be seen and began emitting a noise that can only be described as the wailing of tormented souls from Hell all trying to sing a speeded up version of achy breaky heart. Chad grabbed my sleeve and yelled, “Let’s go.”

“Let’s go where?”, I screamed over the cacophony of noise.

“To where we get cheap parts.”, yelled Chad, “It’s just a minute away.”

Looking at the nightmarish doorway that had opened I screamed, “What if something goes wrong?”

“Don’t worry”, He said, “We’re backed up in the cloud on my Steam account.”

That, dear readers, is where I must stop and rest for a few moments. What came next will not only stun your sense, but give you a completely different outlook on the perils of hardware reviewing.

Now over to you creative lot and good luck!
 

RCoon

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NOT IN, I'd just like to stretch my creativity fingers for once, instead of spending hours editing past work. It also has an amusing cliffhanger that caused me to get in trouble with the internet.

By the way @Tatty_One, .rtf isn't supported as an attachment

attached as a zip RTF

My body was torn asunder. As I looked over with what little pieces were left of me, Chad stood there unwavering. I watched him fall to pieces, realising I was watching the same process happening to my own body at this moment. It was the stuff of neon dreams, but in reality, felt like a stark contrast. Despite staring at the seemingly destructive unending process, the whole thing was over within a matter of milliseconds. Our bodies and minds were ripped from existence, our souls shaken within an inch of death, and then we were there. Wherever there was.

I turned to Chad “Where the hell have you taken us?”

“How do you think reviewers get their samples Dean? You think the top ranking sites just ask for them?” Chad almost demanded a reply, gripping the shotgun so tight you could see his knuckles turning white. “No. Not for the flagship stuff. The flagship stuff brings in more traffic than you could possibly imagine, but nobody gets that kinda hardware through reasonable means.”

I looked around briefly. Bizarrely we had arrived (or was it landed?) in a small dark office with nothing but emergency lightning to light the room. The place had obviously shut up shop for the night, and all that would be left was the Graveyard Shift. I glanced across the room, a large executive mahogany desk with a computer lay at the far end near a titanic window. A couple of filing cabinets littered the far side wall, decorated with what looked like the most expensive wallpaper you’d ever seen. As I looked at the door I noticed a name placard. On it I read “Raja Koduri”. We were in the goddamn AMD graphics engineering building.

Suddenly Chad’s cool concise demeanour was shed, and the desperation took its place bringing sweat to his brow. In all the commotion I hadn’t noticed the sack Chad had slung across his back, everything had happened so quickly. Before I knew it he dropped it with a great metal thunk as it hit the ground. Out of it he presented a Steyr Aug, and two small chest packs rammed with ammunition. Written across one of the in large bold white letters was the word “PRESS”. He threw the Aug at me – surprise reaction kicked in and I caught it despite my absolute protest.

“The hell is wrong with you?” I shouted, “I’m not here to score hardware for you.” I threw the gun to the ground. I hadn’t come here to rob a hardware company blind, much less shoot up the place. I was no Sundance Kid, I came to Chad to write.

“What are we doing here Chad? What are you not telling me?”

Chad turned, pulling the final strap on his vest. In a stern tone he muttered his intent.

“You’re going to help me steal the Flagship piece. I’m going to review the R10 Zeus.”
 

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Tatty_One

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I like that, lets hope you don't get 25 copy versions! will amend contest to get them to zip a RTF file, that will work and WinZip evaluation copy can be had for free.
 

Mussels

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wasnt this a really old thread that got bumped by spambots?

edit: hah, competition! lurking everywhere has benefits for me!
 

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If anybody needs some proofreading done, feel free to PM/email me.
 
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I'm in, just tagging here so I can mark my spot :) Story to follow!! Gotta love a necro'd thread
images.jpg


Story attached :toast:
 

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stinger608

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I'll do like @Ahhzz is doing here and mark my spot............Yea if that didn't sound like a dog I don't know what did. :laugh:
 

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Hmmm, So I guess we're just marking our spot until we edit and attach our entry. Climbing aboard the train!!


EDIT: I'm In!!! My entry is attached! :D
Before I had a chance to even comprehend what that could possibly mean, Chad had leapt forward into the void formerly occupied by the plastic. His shotgun in the lead, I was dragged behind him as if a ragdoll, his grip on my sleeve viselike. Together we disappeared into a flash of light, the wailing voices left behind.

Dampness was the first thing I noticed in the gloom. That and the somewhat distant sound of clicking and scurrying, interposed under the unmistakable sparking of arc welders and slurred, wet voices gurgling orders, followed by the occasional deep “rrrrriibit.”

“Come on, the foreman is this way” said Chad, letting go of my arm. He strode confidently toward the flickering, torch lit cavern ahead. I hesitantly followed, my eyes widening with what came into view.

Before me was the most unbelievable sight I had ever seen! In this vast cavern were acres of low tables lined row after row, with motherboards, GPU’s Cases and Hard drives on them in various stages of assembly. A hum in the air was from the countless numbers of large hissing cockroaches. They scurried to and fro, carrying parts to tables, while others used their numerous arms to hold parts together while aiming arc-welders and soldering irons. Occasional scorch marks and melting appeared on parts, which earned the roach responsible the role of being a tasty snack for their taskmasters who moved down the rows.

“Humboldt, let me introduce you to David. He reviews hardware for TPU,” said Chad.

“David”, gurgled the giant, man-sized frog, incredibly standing on his hind legs, cigar dangling from his mouth by the tongue wrapped around it.

“Listen Humboldt, I’ve got a big order for next week” said Chad. “I’m going to need 50,000 computers initially, and one right now for David to review”

“50,000 we can do, but anything more and I’ ll to have to round up some grasshoppers to finish, and you know the old tale about the ant and the grasshopper, they aren’t the most reliable,” replied Humboldt.

“Humboldt?” I thought. “Since when did frogs walk, talk, chomp cigars and oversee giant cockroaches?” I still had not said a word. My two hands felt like lead balloons, my tongue was numb, and my legs threatened to fail me any second.

“Also”, said Chad, “can you make sure at least the first batch is bug-free?”

Humboldt stared like Chad had two heads, slurped on his cigar and said “Have you looked around? Bug-free?” He began a deep, wet laugh while thrusting a review sample in my arms. “Go on, get!”

We stumbled back the way we came, I in a daze.

I awoke in a sweat at 5AM. “I need to hurry to meet Chad.” As I got dressed bleary-eyed, I realized I had nowhere to be. There at the table was the computer, awaiting my review. Two giant cockroaches were finishing with its initial setup! As I lost consciousness, my last thought was “That’s not bug-free.”
I hope I did Dean proud.
 

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Always nice for the judges to get an idea of the large amount of work they will need to be doing! I am not a judge so remain relaxed..... the more the merrier, keep them busy I say! :D
 
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I'm totally in. This is my spot and you can't have it.
I didn't have time :(
 
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I really thought more people would turn out for this.
 

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I really thought more people would turn out for this.
Maybe they haven't marked a spot and are quietly working away. I know I had no time available last night to write, but intend to finally complete it.
 

CAPSLOCKSTUCK

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Marking my spot with a review for the worst product ever made



still loving my XFX 7970 DD

:peace:
 
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I'm in, won a monitor from Kreij on a similar style contest. Love it. Marking my spot, story to follow.

edit: continuation attached, poor chad.
 

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Frick

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Pretty sure I missed the mark with the story, but anyway I'm in.

Chad grabbed my horror-wound face with his calloused hands and turned my head to meet his gaze. There was fire in those eyes, fire and dead souls. His smile was twisted, the effect only slightly spoiled by his failed attempt at growing a beard.

“Now or never”, he whispered and shoved me ahead of him. I screamed as I fell forward, not downward, towards the swallowing dark. I fell forward on my face, into what felt like mud lazed with gasoline. The sounds abruptly ended, and all I could hear was Chad’s impish laughter.

“You guys never learn, do you!” he roared as I lifted myself up on my elbows. He kicked mud at me. “You want conspiracies so bad you believe any crappy effect!” He walked forward in the what I now saw was a tunnel. “Man, the day that gets old I’m dead.” A cigar had magically appeared in his mouth, the shotgun slung callously swinging back and forth.

I staggered upright, still confused. “But I saw dead souls in your eyes!” I shouted as I ran after him. I looked back and saw what indeed looked like bad lightning effects, still playing around the entrance. I looked closer at Chad when I caught up with him. “I still do!”

“I’m a hardware reviewer.” he said and went on in silence, not quite achieving a whistle.

“So what the hell is this about then?” I tried to scrape some mud off my clothes, but it had already started to dry. Chad stopped and held out his arm while his other hand gripped the shotgun in a way full of meaning.

“You really want to know?” He said and grinned a grin I really hated at this point.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?`” I said as sourly as I dared. He was still holding an semi-automatic shotgun with the safety off after all.

He gave me a look and then looked me up and down. Then he walked around me. Then he was touching me in places, my arms, he felt up my legs.

“What the hell man?” I shouted when I decided my pride was worth more than the iron fist of the shotgun. He looked at me with those dead eyes again, lowered his shotgun and simply stated: “March.”

So I did march, shotgun rubbing my back almost sensually.

Eventually the tunnel ended in a bright room with a green door at the end. Chad walked over to it and opened it. Inside there were rows and rows of operating tables, doctors doing things to people I recognized.

“Here is where the kill-switch and the rest of the electronics are installed.” Chad’s smile would have been winning was it made in different circumstances.

“We own you now. Tomorrow you will receive your first assignment. I’m guessing it has to do with that boatload of Asus stuff. We need it.”

And I realized there was no life in those eyes. Only fire.
 

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Norton

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Tatty_One

Senior Moderator & Combat Squirrel
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Tatty Bump! Come on guys, for the sake of half an hours artistic delight you can win yourself a decent card, if you already own something more powerful then you can always donate it too a future memorial build.... win win! 10 days left, lets not make it too easy for the few that have already got in on the act, they needz competition :lovetpu:
 
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