Xeon E3 1230 (v1, v2 or v3) is perfect for your instance.
4 cores with hyperthreading (8 threads) at the same price as an i5...
Hard to find cheap ones online, Microcenter sells them for around $200 at the offline retail store. eBay has a lot of them for cheap, I sold my two there for around $200 each. I'd highly recommend the eBay option if you do not have a local Microcenter.
I found a seller of Xeon 1230v2 (ivy) on eBay for $215 each with many in stock.
Another sells Xeon 1230 (sandy) for $199. These are "New OEM".
Search term was "Xeon 1230"
Used Intel's are still very reliable, if you stumble on a good deal on a used one, I wouldn't worry about running it.
Ivy is probably 10% faster. Both are very capable. I could clock the Ivy to 3.5ghz using my motherboard's overclocking feature (+2x multiplier bin). This makes it comparable to an i7. They support ECC memory if you desire, but only with certain motherboards (such as Supermicro workstation boards). You really don't need to overclock the last 3 generations of Intel.
Xeon 1230v1 (Sandy) and v2 (Ivy) will work in almost every socket 1155 motherboard, consumer or professional.
Xeon 1230v3 (Haswell) will work in 1150 motherboards.
Xeon E3 1220's will also work fine and are also cheap on eBay. Xeon E3 12x5's (insert 2 or 3 or 4 in the x) have video function (denoted by the 5, 0 means no onboard video).
http://www.intel.com/content/www/us/en/processors/xeon/xeon-processor-e3-family.html
These are also great for gaming. I can't tell much difference between my old Xeon E3 and the i7 I have now when both are in the 3.0-4.0ghz range.
An ideal budget option would be a Xeon 1230v2 ($200) with a H61 Asus or Gigabyte Motherboard ($60), $260 total for unmatched power. AMD 8350 will not match this performance except in WinZip/7zip. For comparison purposes, a Xeon 1230v2 is equivalent to an i7-2600.
To answer the ram question, 2x4GB (=8GB) is the perfect amount. DDR3, Clock speed: 1333 or 1600, Voltage: 1.5v. Latencies: between 9 and 11.
sorry for multiple edits, I have the bad habit of vomiting out information onto a post, and then cleaning it up after.
Just my opinion here:
I am not an Intel over AMD fan, I am a price to performance fan. These are the best for the money, period. Buying an AMD will just cost you more in the long run because they will be obsolete faster. AMD single core performance is only slightly better than their 2009 Phenom II. 4 years from now, the FX will be completely obsolete. The Xeon will likely be quite usable. This is proven by the many 2008 era i7 920's that are still being used today! You also need a larger power supply, better cooling, etc for an 8350. Its really not a budget option.
Source: i7 2600k vs FX8350
http://www.anandtech.com/bench/product/697?vs=287
Source: i72600 vs Xeon 1230v2 (showing identical performance, albeit gaming CPU benchmarks)
http://www.futuremark.com/hardware/cpu/Intel Xeon Processor E3-1230V2/compare
Source: 8350 thread performance on Skyrim benchmark (showing poor single thread capability)
http://techreport.com/review/23750/amd-fx-8350-processor-reviewed/5
to be fair, the reviewer shows it performs well with video encode, but not as well on average overall as current Intel. Video Encode:
http://techreport.com/review/23750/amd-fx-8350-processor-reviewed/11