Mic drop. Nobody else is going to pay more than $3
Seriously, if anyone is still using Bulldozer derivatives at this point then they clearly don't need CPU performance. Have you considered a nice, cool and quiet Pentium J5040?
I was poking fun at Bulldozer's power efficiency, not its performance. It hasn't aged well but you can still do plenty with a potatoPC these days.
Have I told you about the Atom tablet I keep in the kitchen? It's so pitiful that it makes a potatoPC look good, but it still has its uses.