So when fitting after market HS, finger tight is good enough then, as opposed to extreme measures like using a torque wrench?
No. You're supposed to secure your CPU and the cooler with a 30-tonne hydraulic press while you're tightening the screws. A few heatsink fins might bend a bit, but that's normal.
you are right (my motherboard + cpu are or will be history)
I need new motherboard with cpu that why I as you guys cual seria la mejor opcion right now (I gaming a lot also stream with my son) thanks for your comment
yea i will upgrade motherboard and cpu thanks for your comment
yes both (they are old lol) I will check all options from here and after i will upgrade gpu (to nvidia as well) my other 2 pc have nvidia (for some reason i do not like amd gpu)
I need new motherboard and cpu also my gpu after (to nvidia) I always thought that nvidia with intel was best

wow so this mean i need go with ryzeen or just upgrade to some other intel cpu like i7, i9??
i gaming and stream a lot ryzeen vs intel?? please and thanks you so much for your comment
AMD or Intel doesn't matter. Both are good with their current generations, but for different reasons.
If you want a PC that you plug in and it works, 10th/11th gen Intel with a carefully chosen B460/B560 motherboard and locked (non-K) CPU is good. Same with Ryzen 5000-series up to Ryzen 7, but you need a good cooler. Ryzen 3000-series CPUs need a chipset driver installed and a Ryzen-specific Windows power plan set up, which IMO is a bit weird.
If you want lots of cores for multitasking (running several resource heavy applications at the same time), or video encoding, Ryzen 9 5000 series is king, but watercooling, or a gigantic tower heatsink is strongly recommended. Same with Intel 12th gen, as Intel recently decided to let motherboard manufacturers ignore their basic power specs by default.
As for CPU/motherboard pairing, this is the basic principle:
Intel Core 10xxx: B460, H470, Z490 or B560, H570, Z590.
Intel Core 11xxx: B560, H570 or Z590. 400-series works, but only after a BIOS update, so as a new buyer, I would stick to the 500-series.
Intel Core 12xxx: Z690 at the moment, with B660 coming later.
AMD Ryzen 3000 or 5000: A520 (I would not recommend it for Ryzen 7 or 9 due to their usually under-engineered power delivery), B550 or X570.
Were you happy with your Core i5-7400? If you were, I'd go for a Ryzen 5 5600X with a B550 motherboard, or a Core i5-11400(F) with a B560 one. Out of these two, I'd personally go with Intel because it's cheaper and easier to cool at default power specs.