Sunday, April 1st 2007

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service

Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced the launch of Google TiSP (BETA)™, a free in-home wireless broadband service that delivers online connectivity via users' plumbing systems. The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system.

If you'd like to learn how to install TiSP, please read the instructions here.

"We've got that whole organizing-the-world's-information thing more or less under control," said Google Co-founder and President Larry Page, a longtime supporter of so-called "dark porcelain" research and development. "What's interesting, though, is how many different modalities there are for actually getting that information to you - not to mention from you."

For years, data carriers have confronted the "last hundred yards" problem for delivering data from local networks into individual homes. Now Google has successfully devised a "last hundred smelly yards" solution that takes advantage of preexisting plumbing and sewage systems and their related hydraulic data-transmission capabilities. "There's actually a thriving little underground community that's been studying this exact solution for a long time," says Page. "And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and - splat - right onto your PC."

Users who sign up online for the TiSP system will receive a full home self-installation kit, which includes a spindle of fiber-optic cable, a TiSP wireless router, installation CD and setup guide. Home installation is a simple matter of GFlushing™ the fiber-optic cable down to the nearest TiSP Access Node, then plugging the other end into the network port of your Google-provided TiSP wireless router. Within sixty minutes, the Access Node's crack team of Plumbing Hardware Dispatchers (PHDs) should have your internet connection up and running.

"I couldn't be more excited about, and am only slightly grossed out by, this remarkable new product," said Marissa Mayer, Google's Vice President of Search Products and User Experience. "I firmly believe TiSP will be a breakthrough product, particularly for those users who, like Larry himself, do much of their best thinking in the bathroom."Source: Google
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15 Comments on Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service

#2
EviLZeD
by: WeStSiDePLaYa
lame joke.
lol caught on fast
Posted on Reply
#3
GLD
I was reading this going WDF? Then I realized what day it was. Nice one man. :toast:
Posted on Reply
#4
EviLZeD
actually done realy well :D lol
Posted on Reply
#5
Jimmy 2004
I really hope W1zz doesn't acknowledge this as being a news post... :p

Edit: if this is real, we're going to feel really stupid :(
Posted on Reply
#6
LordSeshamaru
Lol!! itZ on The Google Wesite newayZZp:D
hahahahahah
google badly wants to make atleast one guy an April Fool!!!!:respect::roll: :eek: :p
really does anyone think this is gonna happen??
if yes, i WANT THE DAMn toilet kit im on dial up now :cry:
Posted on Reply
#7
LordSeshamaru
hehehe and happy April Fools day everyone one!! hope evryone got caught as fool atleast once!!
bad luck u guys no one caught me on April 1st!! cause i had a 9hr xam:P and my frnds fergot today was foolmakin day :D yay ! i rocK!
and plz tell me this toilet thin gis real i really wan it!!!
Posted on Reply
#8
Exeodus
Damn... now I have to take my router off the toilet now.

I think that I will sue google for emotional distress :toast:
Posted on Reply
#9
PyroInc
can anyone say april fools
Posted on Reply
#11
Pinchy
by: Jimmy 2004
Edit: if this is real, we're going to feel really stupid :(
lol check this out:

http://www.google.com/tisp/notfound.html

You can see their other years jokes as well


I found the joke quite funny, and i fooled some family members :D
Posted on Reply
#12
Wile E
Power User
Ha. You're welcome Zek.
Posted on Reply
#13
LordSeshamaru
LOL see This Hahahahahahahahahahah:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :p :D :---
Professional Installation Service
You can also choose to request our professional installation service, which dispatches an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes. Note: For your own physical safety and emotional well-being and in consideration of the nanobots' working conditions, please make absolutely certain that your toilet is unoccupied at the scheduled appointment time.
Posted on Reply
#14
BXtreme
Professional Installation Service
You can also choose to request our professional installation service, which dispatches an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes. Note: For your own physical safety and emotional well-being and in consideration of the nanobots' working conditions, please make absolutely certain that your toilet is unoccupied at the scheduled appointment time.
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Posted on Reply
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