Help With Games Stuttering

[Kreij]

This has nothing to do with games stuttering.

It’s just another of your crazy old Uncle Kreij’s stealth contests.

If a few days I will be heading to the hospital for some surgery, and if I end up taking a dirt nap I want to make sure I had one more contest to show people how much fun giving to others can be, and at the same time make you do something that is basically against your better judgement.

Prize : Any game on Steam. (Single game only)

Rules : My surgery will involve them opening me up like a butchered cow and cutting out anything nasty they find. Then they will flush out my guts with a slurry of Chemotherapy poison for a while. Your task is to write a humorous poem about it. Try to make it rhyme if you have even minor talent.

Requirements: You must have a Steam account and the game has to be available in your region. There are no post or thanks requirements and everyone is welcome to participate.

Contest starts now, and I will pick a winner no later than Tuesday of next week.

Go.

 

[Frick]

Kreij
has got the crabs
schlepp it down


All the best.

 

[DRDNA]

Monkey Moderator keeps our house clean.
Monkey Moderator does it with out being mean.
Monkey Moderator has been hit with cancer.
Monkey Moderator will out step that better than a dancer.



Love you brother and hope G-d's will has all healing in your future as well as perseverance!

 

[Frag_Maniac]

I don't get it, you want people to write a poem about your surgery in the style of a game support question?

I'm not into rap, but this kinda comes off as rap style

What's wrong with my guts,
it's like when games go nuts
help me with this system,
it's an awful condition
When I put something in,
I get growls instead of grins
Please I gotta scoot,
it's time to hit reboot
If I don't get this fixed,
game over, I'll be nixed
If there's anybody out there,
please say you really care
All I want to do,
is play like you
You say keep cool,
but don't play me a fool
If you were in this shape,
you'd see it ain't so great

P.S. NO NAPPIN ALLOWED! Get well Monk, that's an order!

 

[Tatty_Two]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm gutless
and so are you


Really sorry, I just had to, forgive me , and you know I hope everything goes well and works out for you, as I am sure everyone here does without exception

 

[Kreij]

I don't get it, you want people to write a poem about your surgery in the style of a game support question?

No Frag. Just a contest hidden in the Game section so people who are gamers and want to help people get a freebie by making fun of my predicament.

 

[Steevo]

K is for Kancer
Which Kreij has the best
He wishes it were for Kush
Which he'd smoke with the rest
Instead now he visits the hospital with dear.
Hoping not to take a dirt nap and be a pain in her rear.
One thing to be said lets now make it clear
I only wrote this to win a game.



Don't die and stuff. Cheer.

 

[Frag_Maniac]

No Frag. Just a contest hidden in the Game section so people who are gamers and want to help people get a freebie by making fun of my predicament.

LOL, OK, I used game support metaphors anyway. Hope that's cool.

 

[xenocide]

I wish you a swift recovery. I'm sure all of TPU (even those who have differences) is.

 

[Flogger23m]

I'll enter myself into this contest. Good luck with the surgery and hopefully you are well soon.

Written from Kreji's perspective:

My surgery will involve some cuts,
In which I may loose some guts,
Sliced open and exposed,
If the doctors rush hopefully my body will not have decomposed,
Next will be the great flush,
In which all the junk and mush is removed,
But for now I must get going,
As momentarily I will get butchered like a cow,
With luck I shall walk away from this much stronger,
I ran out of time to make this poem much longer,
Nevertheless there is some rhyme,
Hopefully I shall recover and get better as this contest has been sublime.


Good luck Kreji.

 

[ShiBDiB]

A haiku.. ish...

I like free games
Don't die
Potato chips

 

[manofthem]

The Monkey Who Ate Cheese

There once was a land that was scary indeed
where folks would get sick and only eat cheese,
And when night had come down to take them away,
A mad man ascended to save them this day.

For what should he do but to battle this plague
to give what he had and fight the badness away.
Beknownst to us all and injured he fought.
He fought all the while til the day he could not.

For his own jelly within had gone astray,
and took over his body til on a bed he laid,
Under the folk in their white with their knives in their hands
sprinkled with the red from the guts of this man.

T'was an illness for which there was no known cure,
they cut what they could til there was no cut more.
He knew what it meant to be on that bed,
to put trust in others and in their meds.

He gave out a sigh and a wink to the light;
the danger was over but for only a while.
He had sent out a Steam gift for his time was cut short,
Generous to the end was his lasting report.

The day had been coming from north of the earth
for the monkey moderator that sat in mirth,
upon his mattress of straw and of course with his cup
in ever lasting goodbye to TechPowerUp.




Kreij, I think you're going to make it without any issues. Please don't be fooled by the gloom of my childish poem; we all know poetry has to be about either romance or death, and I thought romance would be very imprudent

 

[Jaffakeik]

What the hell is going on,
Kreij, Dont Die, Come on,
It's No Fun To Cut Your Limbs,
But still I wanna Get Some Hints,
Looking Deep Inside Of You,
With my Demon Eye OF Ruy,
I will cut your Guts from you,
But, no Panic old pal Kreij,
There is still some hope in VEINS,
All u need to do,
Is, Give me that bloody game of you.

 

[hellrazor]

I can't fucking write poems
Kreij will be under the light
I hope he keeps up the fight
Because he's pretty alright
I can't fucking write poems

 

[qubit]

I'm sorry I'm no good at rhymes or poems so I'll just say you're fucking awesome K and don't you forget it!

TPU is seriously lucky to have you and I'm seriously honoured to know you.

You're gonna come back from that op and tell us all about it - no dirt nap for you, sunshine!

 

[manofthem]

Needs more entries

Not sure if you've gone under the knife yet Kreij, but I hope that everything works out very well for you and that you get back here quickly; we need our crazy old Uncle Kreij round these parts

 

[sneekypeet]

I just wanted to update the bulk of the TPU community here!

As for the drawing, we have passed the date due to Kreij having to go into surgery!

Today I got a phone call from him!
Surgery is over, and he says considering all the plumbing the hospital still has attached to him he is feeling pretty good, and sounds to be in good spirits.

As for the contest, well it will be taken care of later by him, or the staff will step up and make this happen either way. The main point here is we still have our beloved Kreij, and he will be back here soon enough to continue his typical helping, trolling, and infracting of those who deserve it!

 

[Norton]

Great news!!! Thanks for the update!

 

[Kreij]

Hi Gaming Fans,

Sorry about the overdue thread. Things got a little hectic before surgery and I was unable to take care of getting this done at that time.
So ... since I survived the surgery I'm on the hook for the prize still. lol

Consider this contest officially closed as of this post, and I will be back to announce the winner in short order (that means hopefully today).

 

[BiggieShady]

Hi Gaming Fans,

Sorry about the overdue thread. Things got a little hectic before surgery and I was unable to take care of getting this done at that time.
So ... since I survived the surgery I'm on the hook for the prize still. lol

Consider this contest officially closed as of this post, and I will be back to announce the winner in short order (that means hopefully today).

Hi Kreij. I'm glad to see you posting again

 

[RCoon]

Hi Kreij. I'm glad to see you posting again

He wouldn't leave us alone with TheMailMan, that would be inhumane. Doctors gotta keep him alive for the sake of the poor forum users.

 

[BiggieShady]

He wouldn't leave us alone with TheMailMan, that would be inhumane. Doctors gotta keep him alive for the sake of the poor forum users.

LoL, this is what I imagined (unless he changed his profile picture)

 

[Kreij]

Okay ... After careful consideration I've chosen Frag Maniac as the winner !!
@Frag Maniac PM me with your Steam name (so I can friend you) and what game you would like.

Thanks to all who participated and gave me some good laughs.

Don't forget to keep an eye on my posts in the gaming section ... You never know when I might pop in with another stealth contest.

 

[Frag_Maniac]

Okay ... After careful consideration I've chosen Frag Maniac as the winner !!
@Frag Maniac PM me with your Steam name (so I can friend you) and what game you would like.

Thanks to all who participated and gave me some good laughs.

Don't forget to keep an eye on my posts in the gaming section ... You never know when I might pop in with another stealth contest.

Holy cow! Thanks Kreij, I was sure manofthem had me beat with his profound poetry. Truth be told I don't usually enter contests, but wanted to honor you with a get well poem. Hope your recovery continues to go well. PM on the way.

 

[Jaffakeik]

Grats to winner,too bad it wasnt me