Ketxxx advised me to cancel my order for Patriot ram but it was too late - already paid for and shipped.
I have total 8gb ram - two paired kits of Patriot PDC24G6400LLK PC2-6400 2GBX2 LL EPP 4-4-4-12 800Mz. The Patriot website recommends 2.2V.
With the original BIOS which came with the board, and default BIOS settings, it wouldn't post with 2 or 4 sticks of RAM installed, but it did boot with only one stick and I was able to install Vista HP 64 bit. I flashed the BIOS with the modified 1104 and increased the RAM voltage and NB voltage. Then it was a able to boot into Vista with all 4 sticks installed.
With 4 sticks of ram, Vista64 seemed to run OK but I would get an occasional BSOD so I removed 2 sticks (kept two sticks plugged into the two yellow sockets). Now it's running Vista64 very well with no BSODs or lockups.
So it seems it will take quite a lot of work and experimenting to be able to use all 8gb of ram. I'm completely new to tweaking all these parameters in the BIOS so I'd be grateful for any tips for settings to try. My aim is not to overclock for benchmarks, I just want to get it stable with 4 sticks of RAM (with good performance for 3D apps if possible).