Thursday, May 28th 2020

Quantum Shenanigan: BioShield Distribution Offers $347 5GBioShield USB Key to Protect From "Harmful 5G Emissions"

On today's episode of "this is just so wrong", the 5GBioShield USB Key: "guaranteed" by its BioShield Distribution manufacturers to protect you from a plethora of harmful frequencies "through a process of quantum oscillation". This USB key has some extra calls to fame, though: not only does it seemingly create a protecting field around you or your "family home", as the company puts it, but it also emits "a large number of life force frequencies favoring a general revitalization of the body." Oh my, the miracles of quantum physics.

BioShield Distribution claims that the 5GBioShield Key "provides protection for your home and family, thanks to the wearable holographic nano-layer catalyser, which can be worn or placed near to a smartphone or any other electrical, radiation or EMF [electromagnetic field] emitting device", whereby "through a process of quantum oscillation, the 5GBioShield USB key balances and re-harmonises the disturbing frequencies arising from the electric fog induced by devices, such as laptops, cordless pho4nes, wi-fi, tablets, et cetera." And get this: these quantum-oscillating-holographic-nano-layer-catalyser-life-force-emitting USB keys are available in a bargain basement-deal of $973 for a pack of three. Oh the temptation!
Moving on to facts: after getting knowledge of such a revolutionary product, the BBC contracted Pen Test Partners, a company that tests devices for vulnerabilities and does technology teardowns. When taking apart the USB stick, Pen Test Partners found it was virtually identical to "crystal" USB keys available from various suppliers in Shenzhen, China, for around £5 ($6) (you can get them on Aliexpress or Wish). This is a sad result: I was hoping for a quantum de-calibration of our reality and ensuing cosmic collapse.

The company's response, via one of its directors, to the BBC-ordered study was as such:
"We are in possession of a great deal of technical information, with plenty of back-up historical research. As you can understand, we are not authorised to fully disclose all this sensitive information to third parties, for obvious reasons."
- Meaning, they are distributors, not producers.
"In regard to the costs analysis your research has produced, I believe that the lack of in-depth information will not drive you to the exact computation of our expenses and production costs, including the cost of IP [intellectual property rights], and so on."
- Meaning, the teardown can not possible comprehend the workings of their product.
"It is therefore hard to take your evaluation seriously, since you have evidently not researched the background facts in any meaningful way."
- Meaning, you don't understand because you can't dive deep enough into our quantum comprehension.

I originally had an entire paragraph here with my opinion on the product, but I will leave it to you guys in the comment section to dissect this product.
Source: BBC
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55 Comments on Quantum Shenanigan: BioShield Distribution Offers $347 5GBioShield USB Key to Protect From "Harmful 5G Emissions"

#1
fynxer
Money is no object, I'll take three. One in each pocket and one in my underwear, you can never be too careful :)

Bet you they use this overpriced USB scam just to weed out the absolute most gullible morons in the population.

If a moron actually buys one these they will have their info and then definitely target them in the future to take everything they have and then some.

Posted on Reply
#2
Caring1
But does it kill Covid? :laugh:

"We are in possession of a great deal of technical information, with plenty of back-up historical research," they said. "As you can understand, we are not authorised to fully disclose all this sensitive information to third parties, for obvious reasons."
Holy crap, this sounds like a Trumpism.
Posted on Reply
#3
XL-R8R
I'll just leave this here:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52810220





Dead/total ripoff item with no real tech, science or even function; just 128mb of storage space..... even if you buy the REAL Chinese version (which is just a USB stick; hence REAL), you get more storage than that......



:shadedshu:
Posted on Reply
#4
TheLostSwede
XL-R8RI'll just leave this here:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52810220





Dead/total ripoff item with no real tech, science or even function; just 128mb of storage space..... even if you buy the REAL Chinese version (which is just a USB stick; hence REAL), you get more storage than that......



:shadedshu:
Ah, but the Chinese version doesn't have the 5G radiation sucking sticker... :roll:
fynxerMoney is no object, I'll take three. One in each pocket and one in my underwear, you can never be too careful :)

Bet you they use this overpriced USB scam just to weed out the absolute most gullible morons in the population.

If a moron actually buys one these they will have their info and then definitely target them in the future to take everything they have and then some.

If you read the source article, you'll see a British politician is even promoting them, as he sleeps better at night and have more vivid dreams since he got his...
Posted on Reply
#5
windwhirl
I'm actually crying tears of laughter because of this crap :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Posted on Reply
#6
fynxer
TheLostSwedeIf you read the source article, you'll see a British politician is even promoting them, as he sleeps better at night and have more vivid dreams since he got his...
Could be that he is behind this, politicians are scam artists.
Posted on Reply
#7
TheoneandonlyMrK
TheLostSwedeAh, but the Chinese version doesn't have the 5G radiation sucking sticker... :roll:


If you read the source article, you'll see a British politician is even promoting them, as he sleeps better at night and have more vivid dreams since he got his...
Oh the shame, I am embarrassed to be of the same country as that Smeg.

Fancy ripping people off like this.

Especially when I sell better quantum protection for way cheaper.

Just 50£ could get you one of my Handmade , personalized quantum wave deflectors.

My tin quantum wave deflectors can be styled how You want. Roman helmet , Viking take your pick.
Posted on Reply
#8
Fourstaff
XL-R8RDead/total ripoff item with no real tech, science or even function; just 128mb of storage space..... even if you buy the REAL Chinese version (which is just a USB stick; hence REAL), you get more storage than that......
Making crappy copies of Chinese tech, what in the world ...
Posted on Reply
#9
Papahyooie
My only question is... why a usb stick? They could have just sold a solid plastic/metal puck, or even a rock (people think crystals do things, after all.) Why a usb stick? It's just so random, cause since it's "wearable", you don't even plug it into anything lol.
Posted on Reply
#10
TheoneandonlyMrK
PapahyooieMy only question is... why a usb stick? They could have just sold a solid plastic/metal puck, or even a rock (people think crystals do things, after all.) Why a usb stick? It's just so random, cause since it's "wearable", you don't even plug it into anything lol.
Digital mate , they're analogue, this is digital haha.

Next gen Chrystal.
Posted on Reply
#11
Papahyooie
theoneandonlymrkDigital mate , they're analogue, this is digital haha.

Next gen Chrystal.
Fair enough, lol
Posted on Reply
#13
TheoneandonlyMrK
mp you say ,.

Isn't his email available.

I could actually message an owner to laugh at the dence f###.
Posted on Reply
#15
windwhirl
TheLostSwedeIf you read the source article, you'll see a British politician is even promoting them, as he sleeps better at night and have more vivid dreams since he got his...
The force field absorbs a lot of 5G emissions during the day. At night, the device should be fully charged because of emissions so, to avoid overwhelming the little device and also to make it more valuable for the buyer, all those extra emissions that were not used to recharge the invisible battery are transformed into "quantum-oscillating-holographic-nano-layer-catalyser-life-force" energy and directed straight into his nervous system, hence the better sleep and the vivid dreams... while keeping the force field up, mind you.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Posted on Reply
#16
Assimilator
TheLostSwedeIf you read the source article, you'll see a British politician is even promoting them, as he sleeps better at night and have more vivid dreams since he got his...
www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/glastonbury-town-council-wants-help-3093954
www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/health/5g-coronavirus-bioshield-glastonbury-report-4152435

It's not a politician pushing this nonsense, it's just some random idiot who was appointed to a random committee of unqualified people, which then issued a completely unscientific report based on no facts whatsoever.

However, the committee was convened by politicians Mike Smyth and Jon Cousins of Glastonbury council. Both of these "people" (and I use the term lightly) are members of the Green party.

Smyth seems to have a minimal online presence, but Cousins - who is also the Deputy Mayor - is on Twitter: twitter.com/jonfcousins - feel free to inform him of the facts.
Posted on Reply
#17
Raevenlord
News Editor
rvalenciaFake product.
Real news, though I'd hope this was fake news.
Posted on Reply
#19
rvalencia
TheLostSwedeNo, it's a real product, but what it claims to do is obviously very fake.
I was referring to the product's claims, hence it's a fake product.
Posted on Reply
#21
Bones
theoneandonlymrkOh the shame, I am embarrassed to be of the same country as that Smeg.

Fancy ripping people off like this.

Especially when I sell better quantum protection for way cheaper.

Just 50£ could get you one of my Handmade , personalized quantum wave deflectors.

My tin quantum wave deflectors can be styled how You want. Roman helmet , Viking take your pick.
Around here, one that's made like a bug-zapper will do.
Gives protective coverage over a wide radius from it's point of install, it's powerful and entertaining too.
Note that a 6-pack minimum is required to take advantage of the entertainment features it has, best used on a warm summer evening for best results.
Best of all it takes care of all those annoying 5G "Bugs".
Posted on Reply
#22
ShurikN
There's a saying in my country which roughly translates to:
"While there are sheep, there will be wool"
Posted on Reply
#23
Mysteoa
That is like selling Gluten free steaks with higher price.
Posted on Reply
#24
$ReaPeR$
Human stupidity never fails to amaze me..
Posted on Reply
#25
comtek
This is taking advantage of people's idiocy
Posted on Reply
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